Page 58 of 69
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2023 2:25 am
by PonyHag714
Why shouldn't you kiss anyone on January 1st?
Because it's only the first date.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2023 12:10 pm
by PonyHag714
I can’t believe the nerve of my neighbor knocking on my door at 3AM.
Fortunately I was up playing the drums.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2023 12:10 pm
by PonyHag714
I should never have climbed into this vat of curdled milk...I'm in whey over my head.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2023 1:21 pm
by PonyHag714
I've been breeding racing deer...just trying to make a quick buck.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2023 10:37 am
by PonyHag714
I used to run a dating service for chickens...but I was struggling to make hens meet.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2023 10:54 am
by PonyHag714
What do you call a vegan pirate?
A squash-buckler!
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2023 10:46 am
by PonyHag714
How does a ghost plan his day?
He makes a to-boo list.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2023 10:53 am
by PonyHag714
What do you call a teetotaling maid?
A dry cleaner.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2023 12:33 pm
by PonyHag714
What did the cake say when it was fighting another cake?
"You want a piece of me?"
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2023 12:12 pm
by PonyHag714
I have a fear of speed bumps...but, I am slowly getting over it.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2023 10:46 am
by PonyHag714
What do you call an uncool beet?
A square root.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2023 10:46 am
by PonyHag714
I wrote a joke about a straw...but it sucks.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Feb 08, 2023 10:45 am
by PonyHag714
What noise does a quantum duck make?
Quark.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Feb 09, 2023 10:41 am
by PonyHag714
How can four people go out with only one umbrella and not get wet?
It isn’t raining.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2023 2:37 am
by PonyHag714
Two silk worms were in a wrestling match...It ended in a tie.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2023 12:17 pm
by PonyHag714
When I met the Rock, he seemed quite shy.
I expected him to be a little bolder.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2023 11:50 am
by PonyHag714
I just recently had to switch my gambling habit to off-track betting...I kept getting trampled by the horses.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2023 1:59 pm
by PonyHag714
What did the wholesome beet farmer say to his friend?
I am rooting for you!
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2023 10:47 am
by PonyHag714
I used to hate chiropractors until I went to see one for my back...now I stand corrected.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Feb 16, 2023 10:51 am
by PonyHag714
What do you get when you eat a gallon of ice cream?
Breyers remorse.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2023 10:46 am
by PonyHag714
What's the British sea monster's favorite food?
Fish and ships.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2023 12:41 pm
by PonyHag714
Why wouldn't the sesame seed leave the casino?
Because he was on a roll.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2023 12:53 pm
by PonyHag714
Two corns in a field were telling each other corny jokes.
They were the laughing stalk of the field.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2023 10:40 am
by PonyHag714
Why did the M&M go to school?
It wanted to be a Smartie.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2023 10:42 am
by PonyHag714
Astronomers got tired watching the moon go around the earth for 24 hours.
They decided to call it a day.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2023 10:46 am
by PonyHag714
Not to brag, but I made six figures this year...they named me the worst employee at the toy factory.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2023 1:18 pm
by PonyHag714
Did you hear about the man who got hit by a milk truck?
He got creamed.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2023 10:54 am
by PonyHag714
What do you call competitors of McDonald's?
Arch enemies.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2023 12:02 pm
by PonyHag714
What did the brain say to the brain stem?
You’ve got a lot of nerve coming in here.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2023 12:41 am
by Pocket
Sherlock Holmes came home one day carrying a box of lemons.
"Where did those come from?" Watson asked.
Holmes replied: "A lemon tree, my dear Watson."
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2023 2:05 am
by PonyHag714
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2023 12:18 pm
by PonyHag714
The hotel I stayed in recently tried to charge me $10 for using the A/C.
That wasn’t cool.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2023 7:46 pm
by Pocket
To whoever stole my antidepressants... I hope you're happy.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2023 1:48 pm
by PonyHag714
What does both a cannon and canon have in common?
They can both kill ships.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2023 10:42 am
by PonyHag714
I got an email offering the secret to reading maps backwards...it was spam.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Mar 01, 2023 10:43 am
by PonyHag714
What was the snowman doing in the vegetable patch?
Picking his nose.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Mar 02, 2023 10:35 am
by PonyHag714
What's a 1960's author's favourite type of alcohol?
Tequila Mocking Bird.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Mar 03, 2023 10:43 am
by PonyHag714
How do bees let guests into their apartment building?
They *buzz* them in.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2023 12:04 pm
by PonyHag714
What did the broom say when they were ready for bed?
I'm sweepy!
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2023 12:38 pm
by PonyHag714
What happens to rainbows that break the law?
They go through the prism system.