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Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Jul 11, 2022 11:57 am
by PonyHag714
Why was the Pepsi employee fired?
He tested positive for coke.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Jul 12, 2022 11:34 am
by PonyHag714
Have you ever realised how pretty the second letter of the word hive is?
I've always said that beauty is in the I of the bee holder.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2022 11:34 am
by PonyHag714
What do clouds wear beneath their clothes?
Thunder-wear.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2022 11:34 am
by PonyHag714
I was on the verge of winning the "World's Most Congested Nose " competition...and then I blew it.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Jul 15, 2022 11:51 am
by PonyHag714
Gas prices are so high...
That even the coronavirus stopped traveling.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Jul 16, 2022 11:30 am
by PonyHag714
A farmer planted a crop of puns.
They were home groan.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2022 11:35 am
by PonyHag714
What do you call a passenger train made out of sweet potatoes?
A Yamtrack.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2022 10:03 am
by PonyHag714
Did you hear about the guy who swapped the labels on the pumps at the gas station?
It was an April Fuels joke.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Jul 19, 2022 11:49 am
by PonyHag714
My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list...now I can't read anything.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2022 12:02 pm
by PonyHag714
What do the Titanic and The Toronto Maple Leafs have in common?
They both look great until they hit the ice.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Jul 21, 2022 11:43 am
by PonyHag714
I know you’re wondering… why do bees live huddled together in hives?
‘Swarm.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Jul 22, 2022 11:31 am
by PonyHag714
My gloves were stolen yesterday...they fell into the wrong hands.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Jul 23, 2022 11:48 am
by PonyHag714
Why don't owls mate during storms?
Because it's too wet to woo.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2022 11:37 am
by PonyHag714
What do you say to a blacksmith who's angry about breaking his sword?
Ooh, temper temper!
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2022 11:26 am
by PonyHag714
What did the foot say to the sock that was about to enter a race?
You're a shoe in.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2022 11:40 am
by PonyHag714
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him...guess that's what I get for having a pure bread dog.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Jul 27, 2022 11:35 am
by PonyHag714
Why did the custard cry?
Because it saw the apple crumble.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Jul 28, 2022 11:27 am
by PonyHag714
What’s electricity’s favorite topic?
Current events.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Jul 29, 2022 11:31 am
by PonyHag714
Why did the top bun and bottom bun of the Big Mac get in a fight?
There was a bad beef between them.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Jul 30, 2022 12:07 pm
by PonyHag714
What vegetable is the best singer?
Corn, because it's always in hominy.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Jul 31, 2022 11:55 am
by PonyHag714
Did you hear about the movie about the man who smashes kid’s toys?
I hear it’s a real blockbuster.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Aug 01, 2022 11:36 am
by PonyHag714
What has 27 actors, three settings, two writers, and one plot?
671 Hallmark movies.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Aug 02, 2022 11:47 am
by PonyHag714
Someone keeps sending me flowers with the heads cut off...I think I'm being stalked.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Aug 03, 2022 11:51 am
by PonyHag714
What does an air freshener vending machine say on the screen when it's empty?
"Out of odor".
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Aug 04, 2022 11:53 am
by PonyHag714
You can get Batman shampoo at Walmart...but not conditioner Gordon.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 11:27 am
by PonyHag714
Went to dinner last night at a restaurant, and there was a fly in my soup...I wouldn't have normally minded, but the zipper broke my tooth.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2022 12:25 pm
by PonyHag714
I paid way too much money for these Velcro pants...what a ripoff.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2022 11:43 am
by PonyHag714
Did you get a haircut?
No, I got them all cut.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2022 11:17 am
by PonyHag714
What do you call competitors of McDonald's?
Arch enemies.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2022 11:55 am
by PonyHag714
Why doesn't Achilles have any scars?
His wounds always heel.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2022 11:28 am
by PonyHag714
What happened when the teacher tied everyone's laces together?
They went on a class trip.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2022 11:33 am
by PonyHag714
What do you call a really scary horse that only appears after the sun has set?
A nightmare.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2022 11:44 am
by PonyHag714
My buddy has been sacked from his job in recycling.
I can't believe he has gone and thrown it all away.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Aug 13, 2022 11:40 am
by PonyHag714
When REM met The Queen, she held up an envelope and then said..."That's me in the corner."
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Aug 14, 2022 11:45 am
by PonyHag714
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray!
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Aug 15, 2022 11:40 am
by PonyHag714
Why don't salmon watch cable television?
They prefer streams.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Aug 16, 2022 11:32 am
by PonyHag714
What does the Earth get on Earth day?
A birthday quake!
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Aug 17, 2022 11:59 am
by PonyHag714
Recently, I decided to quit my job at the construction place because i couldn't deal with the heavy lifting...I gave them my too weak notice yesterday.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2022 11:39 am
by PonyHag714
I want to treat the roads with sugar instead of salt...this way, you know...everyone can have a sweet ride.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2022 11:33 am
by PonyHag714
What did one blackberry say to the other blackberry?
If you weren't so sweet, we wouldn't be in this jam!