Come on in, come to the place where fun never ends. (Shenanigans!)
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Wed Jun 16, 2021 10:23 am
Octavia wrote: ↑Tue Jun 15, 2021 6:45 pm
Your avatar makes the punchlines of these jokes ten times better
Heh, thanks.
I told a knock knock joke while trick or treating last Halloween...I only got a couple of Snickers.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Thu Jun 17, 2021 9:08 am
I started a new job as an Amazon delivery driver today. When I got to my first address there was a note saying "Dear delivery man, we’re out, please hide in garbage."
That was eight hours ago and still no one has found me.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Fri Jun 18, 2021 10:17 am
Where do insects listen to music?
Spotifly.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Sat Jun 19, 2021 11:18 am
What did the pickle do when it won the championship?
He just stood there to relish the moment.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Sun Jun 20, 2021 11:30 am
As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices.
Take it or leave it.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Mon Jun 21, 2021 10:05 am
My wife said she'd leave me if I didn't stop speaking in Scooby Doo references...Alright gang, let's split up.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Tue Jun 22, 2021 9:43 am
I read that Snap, Crackle and Pop were found murdered along with Captain Crunch and Tony the Tiger.
Authorities suspect it's the work of a cereal killer.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Wed Jun 23, 2021 10:14 am
How does a dog camouflage itself in the forest?
It barks.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Fri Jun 25, 2021 4:06 pm
Why do you like bananas?
They have lots of a-peel.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Sat Jun 26, 2021 11:06 am
How many optometrists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One or two?
One, or two?
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
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PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Sun Jun 27, 2021 11:21 am
What do you get when a chicken lays its eggs on the top of a hill?
Egg rolls.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Mon Jun 28, 2021 10:04 am
What type of shoes do bananas wear?
Slippers.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Tue Jun 29, 2021 10:08 am
Where can you find a beach covered with frozen waffles?
Sandy Eggo.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Thu Jul 01, 2021 12:23 pm
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Depresso.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Fri Jul 02, 2021 12:59 pm
I really bonded with the guy at the glue factory...we have been inseparable ever since we met.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Sat Jul 03, 2021 11:36 am
Why do nurses always carry a red pen with them?
In case they need to draw blood.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Sun Jul 04, 2021 12:07 pm
Why does Spiderman hate driving with his evil twin?
Because he’s a bad parallel Parker.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Mon Jul 05, 2021 11:01 am
I went down to the paint store to get thinner...it didn't work.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Tue Jul 06, 2021 11:57 am
What did the hole in the ground say to the oil rig?
I’m bored.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Wed Jul 07, 2021 10:30 am
What does a horse do when he eats a bunch of eggs and olive oil?
He Mayo-neighs.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Thu Jul 08, 2021 11:06 am
Where does a pirate download his music?
Aye-tunes.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Fri Jul 09, 2021 9:45 am
How do flowers whistle?
Through their tulips.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Sat Jul 10, 2021 11:39 am
My dad works for a company that makes bicycle wheels....he's the spokesman.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Sun Jul 11, 2021 11:44 am
I ended things with my communist girlfriend...too many red flags.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Mon Jul 12, 2021 11:02 am
Why does Ganon hate surfing the web?
There are too many Links.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Tue Jul 13, 2021 11:15 am
I went to Dunkin Donuts and ordered 4 blueberry donuts and the cashier asked if I wanna box....I've been banned for life from that shop.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Wed Jul 14, 2021 11:29 am
I opened a fresh loaf of bread and found a baseball card wedged between two slices...it was a Catcher in the Rye.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Thu Jul 15, 2021 12:01 pm
How did the Coca Cola can feel after being steam rolled?
It was soda pressed.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Fri Jul 16, 2021 12:28 pm
An Ego and a Super Ego walk into a bar.
The bartender says "I can't serve you without ID."
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Sat Jul 17, 2021 11:52 am
If you meet a person who owns a few thousand bees, marry them...they're a keeper.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Sun Jul 18, 2021 11:28 am
What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Mon Jul 19, 2021 1:22 pm
Where do ice-cream makers go to learn their trade?
Sundae school.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Tue Jul 20, 2021 10:37 am
What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?
Synonym Toast Crunch.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Thu Jul 22, 2021 11:37 am
Why shouldn't you let kids watch big band performances on TV?
Too much sax and violins.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Fri Jul 23, 2021 11:59 am
Why is basketball the messiest Olympic sport?
Because the players dribble all over the court!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")