Horse Laughs
Moderator: Fizzbuzz
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
My brother is so dumb he got fired from the dollar store...because he couldn't remember the prices.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
I’ve been trying to paint my windows...but instead I might just draw the curtains.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
Why do lawsuits against sand and silt never make it to court?
Sediment always settles.
Sediment always settles.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
I once set an alarm to tell me when my milk would expire...spoiler alert.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
What was the name of the King’s extra knight?
Sir Plus.
Sir Plus.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
Why is that guy directing the orchestra so electrifying?
Because he is the conductor.
Because he is the conductor.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
Did you hear about the geometry teacher who left his parrot’s cage open?
Polygon.
Polygon.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
What’s a mouse’s favorite game?
Hide and squeak.
Hide and squeak.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
If you see a habanero on your doorstep, put a sweater on...it's a little chili outside.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
Why can't a pulsar be observed by any computer controlled optical telescope?
Video killed the radio star.
Video killed the radio star.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
I just quit my job at the helium plant...I will not be spoken to in that tone of voice.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
What is the liquid inside the iPhone’s battery called?
Apple juice.
Apple juice.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
Why does a momma kangaroo hate the rain?
Because on those days, the kids have to play inside.
Because on those days, the kids have to play inside.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
Why does Ganon hate surfing the web?
There are too many Links.
There are too many Links.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
Instead of yelling at my family I used to yell into a colander...all it did was strain my voice.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
Do you know why Scooby Doo is the most viewed cartoon in Denmark?
Because he’s a Great Dane.
Because he’s a Great Dane.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
Someone told me cake jokes are cheesy.
I'm pretty sure mine's batter.
I'm pretty sure mine's batter.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
How do aliens harvest their crops?
With tractor beams.
With tractor beams.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escaped from the zoo?
It was otter chaos.
It was otter chaos.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
I went to a store that sells door locks for little people...low key, it was pretty nice.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
And the award for the best neck wear of the year goes to…
It’s a tie!
It’s a tie!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
Why is it so easy to track Santa on Christmas Eve?
Because he always accepts cookies.
Because he always accepts cookies.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
We should let Netflix run the next pandemic…they don’t let anything last more than three seasons.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
Why do leprechauns not like fool's gold?
Because it's a sham rock.
Because it's a sham rock.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?
A meltdown.
A meltdown.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
Did you know you can wear any boat as a hat?
You just have to turn it upside down to make it cap size.
You just have to turn it upside down to make it cap size.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
What is an Arabic ruler's favorite flavor of potato chips?
Sultan vinegar.
Sultan vinegar.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
What was the snowman doing in the vegetable patch?
Picking his nose.
Picking his nose.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
Did you hear about the curbs going on strike?
They're lining the streets in protest.
They're lining the streets in protest.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
I inherited my great-grandfather’s antique wig-making equipment.
It’s a family hairloom.
It’s a family hairloom.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
What did the seed say to the flower?
Okay Bloomer.
Okay Bloomer.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
This is the hammer, this is the screwdriver, this is the wrench...you know the drill.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
The person who invented the Lint-Roller really helped to get me out of some hairy situations.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
My office computer is so old...when it started running slow, instead of more RAM, the IT guy installed more beads.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
Where does the sheep get his hair cut?
The baa baa shop!
The baa baa shop!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
I would like to buy a bagel with cream cheese.
I'm sorry, we only accept cash.
I'm sorry, we only accept cash.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
I have many stories about my unfortunate attempts to bring horses to a halt...they're my tales of whoa.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
What is the opposite of Lady Fingers?
Mentoes.
Mentoes.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
Why didn’t the guitar drive to the store?
Because the piano had the keys.
Because the piano had the keys.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
I told my kid to not open the door for anyone while I’m not home...now I’m stuck outside.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")