30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

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Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by Nightsong » Thu May 02, 2013 4:22 am

doodlesplat wrote: ↑
Wed May 01, 2013 11:27 am
When you set a goal, try to also capture the feelings and reasons you had when setting them. If later on you feel apathetic, review what you wrote to see if it is because your feelings or reasons have changed or if you're just feeling unmotivated that day. If the former, then perhaps re-setting your goals is appropriate; if the latter, then just find some motivation or simply trust your earlier self and stick with it.
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That's a good idea, I'll try to do that, though I think I set a lot of goals arbitrarily jus because I want to have goals, so I'm not sure what I'd write down in that case.
PonderSketch wrote: ↑
Wed May 01, 2013 11:44 am
That's a toughie. The easier of the options looks to me like trying to meet a goal and seeing if it brings positive feelings. For the sake of the experiment, I'd suggest setting something relatively simple, maybe a goal that you can accomplish in a week.

The apathy towards the goals you set in your action plan isn't too uncommon, I would think. On Day One, I don't think a lot of us knew exactly what we wanted to accomplish with this exercise. I filled my calendar with a bunch of daily tasks that I sometimes have trouble caring about now. They're all steps toward something I was pretty sure I wanted at the beginning, so I try to keep up with them, but some days I don't get around to what I'd set myself up to do. I don't feel as bad for it as I thought I might, since during the day I typically do something else related to this challenge and I still feel like I'm progressing towards something.

For example, I want to be able to get out more, and start talking to people. To that end, some of the days on my calendar simply read, "coffee shop". I'd planned on taking a book and going to sit in a cafe somewhere for a few hours, people watching and possibly attempting to strike up a few conversations. The other day was a "coffee shop" day that I didn't get around to. Instead, I spent a chunk of time making progress on my painting. I wouldn't say I no longer care about the end-goal I was trying to achieve, but I found myself not caring about that particular daily activity.

The best insight I can offer is that while you might find yourself less-than-enthusiastic about completing specific steps toward your end goal, that doesn't necessarily mean you no longer care about the goal. If you find yourself ignoring every step toward that goal, it would be a good idea to ask yourself why. Is the problem one of motivation? Do you still want to achieve that end goal? If not, ask yourself why you set it as a goal in the first place. Why did you want to achieve it then, but don't anymore? What would you want to accomplish instead?
All of my goals are pretty long term, I'm not sure I can think of anything that would be doable in a week. I just started volunteering, which was a goal I set when I started CBT in March. I didn't feel any particular positive reinforcement. What do I do if achieving goals just doesn't have any real affect on me? My clinician keeps telling me to give myself credit for the things I do, but I guess I don't know how. As above, I think I set goals because without them my life feels directionless and meaningless, but it doesn't matter what the goal is as long as I have one so I can abandon them without really feeling all that much.

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Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by Venusy (?) » Thu May 02, 2013 8:42 am

That's a tough one. The best advice I can probably offer would be to imagine what you'd say to someone else who'd achieved what you've done. I mean, you're volunteering. You are doing something nice for others, and you are getting experience - both in terms of socializing and in terms of work. You do contribute to the world. :flutterunsmith:

These two pages were kind of tricky for me, but certainly insightful:
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Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by !saak (?) » Thu May 02, 2013 11:52 am

Thanks doodlesplat for offering your thoughts :party:
Nightsong wrote: ↑
Thu May 02, 2013 4:22 am
That's a good idea, I'll try to do that, though I think I set a lot of goals arbitrarily jus because I want to have goals, so I'm not sure what I'd write down in that case.
All of my goals are pretty long term, I'm not sure I can think of anything that would be doable in a week. I just started volunteering, which was a goal I set when I started CBT in March. I didn't feel any particular positive reinforcement. What do I do if achieving goals just doesn't have any real affect on me? My clinician keeps telling me to give myself credit for the things I do, but I guess I don't know how. As above, I think I set goals because without them my life feels directionless and meaningless, but it doesn't matter what the goal is as long as I have one so I can abandon them without really feeling all that much.
From the way you put it it sounds like you're missing an overarching 'something'; meaning, purpose. Goals provide a structure to your life, a milestone to work towards. But you're accomplishing goals you're not sure what to think of.
Doing things for the sake of doing them can be fun, but it rarely stays fun without it being a means to an end. If you keep doing them it starts to feel like a chore.

Like PonderSketch said: try and figure out why you're pursuing your goals and why you chose those goals to pursue. There might be something in there :) Next write down the things that excite you, that make you happy. Don't feel bad if you don't find something fulfilling straight away. You're actively looking and that's what matters!

There's so much you can do in life, experiment with as much as you can.

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Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by !saak (?) » Thu May 02, 2013 3:41 pm

Sharing time :)

Pre-emptively putting this between hidden tasks in case it becomes something giant :v:
Baring my soul here, why exactly I don't know. Maybe it's part of the process, maybe I feel like adding something personal to this topic, something which might help people understand themselves (including me).

I was adding things to the Gratitude challenge and I hit something while going through my life. Some of you may know that I've been bullied a long time ago, well over a decade ago as a matter of fact. It was... I can't fully describe it. But I was sat on, spat on, beaten up sometimes multiple times a week. It was... abuse. Throughout my life that experience has had a huge impact on me, my behaviour, my thinking. It caused me to isolate myself during much of my teens, and in many ways I was an opposite of the person who I am now. The past few years have really been about unlearning a lot of that. I'm fully aware of this. Becoming aware of this has probably been one of the best things that happened to me.

But the experience is still "in there", like a scar. But while writing down my thinking I started realize that "unlearning" meant that I've been trying to cover up that scar with things. I've been doing and acting and thinking in spite of that scar. I've been covering it up, avoiding it. "I can do it even though I've had a terrible experience!" Okay, that sounds harsher than I actually mean it, but you get my point.

But it's not something I can run away from, not something I can cover up with tons of bandaids on and call it fixed. It hurt me, shaped me on a very deep and personal level and I'm still figuring out how exactly it affected me (like now). But that makes it a part of me, a fundamental part of me and I'm accepting it. I'm not sure what exactly I'm going to do with it, the bandaids are coming off definitely. But I have to embrace it, somehow.

This is weird, I mean... how do you embrace something like this?

I don't know yet, but I feel a lot lighter :)

Thanks for reading.

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Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by !saak (?) » Thu May 02, 2013 5:29 pm

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Day 18: Getting Your Cutiemark: Discover Your Purpose

Yesterday was about your values: what you believe in, what you hold most dear.
Your values stand for who you are, embody them as much as you can :) If you're overwhelmed by all of them, try one at a time. If you value honesty, be honest for a day. Become a role model for honesty. Approach every encounter, every interaction, question, discussion as an honest person.
Blow everyone away and surpass yourself! :party:

Keep at it, it's only a matter of time before they become second nature.
Don't lose sight of them. If you do, or if you feel like it use tweaking, go ahead and tweak it. I changed mine around a bit during yesterday's exercise, don't be afraid to do the same :)
I lifted a tip of the veil yesterday showing Bateson's pyramid. That challenge was about your beliefs, your innermost values. Today we're digging one level deeper.

Your Cutiemark

Why are you here? What is your purpose?

Big, huge questions with potentially even bigger and huger answers.
I'm going to keep this short, because this is highly personal and will evoke a level of thought you might not even be aware of.

Get Your Cutiemark

Step 1: Ask yourself

1. Get alone time with yourself and clear your mind: get comfortable, slowly breathe in and out for a few times and relax.
2. Answer the question: what's my life's purpose?
3. Write everything that pops into your mind. Everything, including miscellaneous ones. For every thought that comes in, keep asking the same question.
4. Keep doing it until you finally reach an answer that resonates on a level you never thought possible. Something which makes you tear up.

A couple of tips:
Even if you come up with answers like "I want to do nothing" or "I just want to sleep", write them down and keep going. This is a dig and you're digging until you hit something you can't dig through.

If nothing comes up, write down "nothing". Keep at it, eventually something new will come up.

Get past social conditioning. Your initial answers may come from social conditioning, like earning money, looking good, having all the material things. Write these down too, get past them and find the answers underneath.
Write your doubts. If doubts surface, write them down and continue asking.

Resistance means you're getting somewhere. You might get that nagging feeling to stop and do something else. Press on, this means you're getting somewhere.

Get to the core. You might write down things like "hanging out with friends", "going to the gym". Things you're extremely passionate about. But why do you love these things so much? Get to the root of it. What is it?
If you're starting to get tired, continue when you're more refreshed. It's not going to run away, so don't worry!

Keep going until you hit the point of resonance. When you write, you'll hit things that resonate. Keep moving in that direction. Get to the answer that evokes the deepest, strongest possible emotions. That's what you're looking for.

You'll know it when you find it :) When you do, there's no way to deny it. Refine it until you feel everything about it is right.

Step 2: Create Your Mission Statement

Your purpose is a statement. A statement to yourself, the world and everyone around you.
You might've heard about companies having mission statements, this is the same thing. But so much better :chillin:

Rework what you wrote into something to the point, something which concisely answers "what's my life's purpose" but also long enough to be meaningful to you.

Direction, not destination. Your life is an ongoing journey, frame your statement as an action.

Use words that resonate with you.

Step 3: Relax
:)

Your Action Plan
Whatcha got planned for today? Anything cool? Go and make it cool.

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Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by Venusy (?) » Thu May 02, 2013 5:52 pm

Isaak wrote: ↑
Thu May 02, 2013 3:41 pm
Sharing time :)

Pre-emptively putting this between hidden tasks in case it becomes something giant :v:
Baring my soul here, why exactly I don't know. Maybe it's part of the process, maybe I feel like adding something personal to this topic, something which might help people understand themselves (including me).

I was adding things to the Gratitude challenge and I hit something while going through my life. Some of you may know that I've been bullied a long time ago, well over a decade ago as a matter of fact. It was... I can't fully describe it. But I was sat on, spat on, beaten up sometimes multiple times a week. It was... abuse. Throughout my life that experience has had a huge impact on me, my behaviour, my thinking. It caused me to isolate myself during much of my teens, and in many ways I was an opposite of the person who I am now. The past few years have really been about unlearning a lot of that. I'm fully aware of this. Becoming aware of this has probably been one of the best things that happened to me.

But the experience is still "in there", like a scar. But while writing down my thinking I started realize that "unlearning" meant that I've been trying to cover up that scar with things. I've been doing and acting and thinking in spite of that scar. I've been covering it up, avoiding it. "I can do it even though I've had a terrible experience!" Okay, that sounds harsher than I actually mean it, but you get my point.

But it's not something I can run away from, not something I can cover up with tons of bandaids on and call it fixed. It hurt me, shaped me on a very deep and personal level and I'm still figuring out how exactly it affected me (like now). But that makes it a part of me, a fundamental part of me and I'm accepting it. I'm not sure what exactly I'm going to do with it, the bandaids are coming off definitely. But I have to embrace it, somehow.

This is weird, I mean... how do you embrace something like this?

I don't know yet, but I feel a lot lighter :)

Thanks for reading.
I pretended my problems weren't there for the longest time and it didn't help. Saying that, when I started making changes, they were always keeping the scars in mind, not in spite of them - I'm not sure what you do if you made such drastic changes, then want to look at it from the other angle. :flutterdear:

Is there anything that you used to really like doing, but "unlearned" to try and keep yourself safe? Did the bullies give any reason why you, and do you acknowledge it as a primitive reaction likely based on their own feelings of vulnerability? You're far, far better than them now, can you see that you were better than them then as well? Maybe you had something they were completely jealous of, the smarts, the looks, etc.?

I don't know if any of these questions are helpful at all. As I said, I often don't have the words for this, and these kinds of posts are ones where I spend so long just trying to find vaguely the right thing to say.

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Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by Hi. (?) » Fri May 03, 2013 1:31 am

I actually did these yesterday, but forgot to post them. Trying not to fall too far behind, but it's been a difficult week.

Day 15
Not posting, because there's a lot of personal stuff in there! But I did it. It's pretty long. :party:
Day 16
I'm going to come back to this one. Probably next week. Just too much stuff front and center on my mind to give an honest effort of thinking what I'm thankful for.
Day 17
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Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by Aracat » Fri May 03, 2013 2:17 am

Day 17, try #3
I did something kinda like what doodlesplat suggested and I'm much happier with this one.

Joy. Too abstract to define. 9/10 - some things in life are unpleasant and I can't always fix those things.
Respect. Also too abstract. 7/10 - I think and say disrespectful things sometimes and I'm slowly learning to catch myself as I'm doing that.
Compassion. Understanding and caring about others. 6/10 - sometimes I just can't empathize with people or the problems they have. Practice makes perfect I guess?
Humility. Being modest about achievements and skills. 8/10 - I find that society at large does not reward this so I intentionally restrict my exhibition of it.
Originality. Coming up with new and unique ideas. 5/10 - Repressing this due to reasons. I don't think I'm very creative in general. I think trying new things helps, and I should do that more often.
Sincerity. Being straight and honest with people. 9/10 - if I say something in a serious setting, I generally mean it. I don't always express it right which can be misleading.

The graph I ended up with makes a lot of sense and building it up was a very interesting exercise. Especially because...
Day 18:
The graph I made for yesterday's challenge makes this easy. A LOT of arrows ended up flowing towards Joy, which made it pretty clear that it's very important in my life. Almost everything I do, I enjoy either the activity or the end result for various and sometimes complicated reasons.

As for the mission statement, I've had something similar to this floating around my head for a while and it seems to fit:
Enjoy life because that's what makes it worthwhile.

It also occurs to me that I'm about "making a dedicated effort to inject joy in to others' lives" away from metaphorically being Pinkie, and that seems like something I should be doing. A plan is being formed... :smirk:

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Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by !saak (?) » Fri May 03, 2013 4:26 am

Venusy wrote: ↑
Thu May 02, 2013 5:52 pm
I pretended my problems weren't there for the longest time and it didn't help. Saying that, when I started making changes, they were always keeping the scars in mind, not in spite of them - I'm not sure what you do if you made such drastic changes, then want to look at it from the other angle. :flutterdear:

Is there anything that you used to really like doing, but "unlearned" to try and keep yourself safe? Did the bullies give any reason why you, and do you acknowledge it as a primitive reaction likely based on their own feelings of vulnerability? You're far, far better than them now, can you see that you were better than them then as well? Maybe you had something they were completely jealous of, the smarts, the looks, etc.?
It's a tough thing to describe, because to be put into words it... needs to be put into words, it needs to go through a filter. It's something really deep, so doing that is... well, I can only give it my best shot :-P

I'm past the station you're describing. My realization is more about making peace with it, accepting it. For a long time I experienced it as this big... err... let me think. When I go 'back in time', I eventually get to that period and I hit a wall. This huge, infinitely high wall. Let's make it black and put some spikes and barbed wire around it. It has always been there in the back of mind, but I've known about it for a while now and have been working it out.

But, and this is what I know now, after I became aware of it I've been, on some level, trying to show that wall just what I can do. I've done some of the most amazing things these past few years and I'm so happy, but still that wall lingered. I was past it, but never accepted it as part of my mental landscape, even though it was always there in my peripheral vision. It was always this thing to fight against.

But I'm getting rid of the spikes and the barbed wire, I don't have to fight against it. Maybe I'll doodle a bit on the face of the wall.
Yay metaphors that sort of work! :party:
I don't know if any of these questions are helpful at all. As I said, I often don't have the words for this, and these kinds of posts are ones where I spend so long just trying to find vaguely the right thing to say.
Asking questions is great, to answer them I have to explain what's in me to you and by explaining it I explain it to myself too. :)

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Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by Venusy (?) » Fri May 03, 2013 6:32 am

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Breathe in, breathe out.

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Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by !saak (?) » Fri May 03, 2013 5:22 pm

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Day 19: Books! God I love books! Dear Princess Celestia, create your Life's Handbook

Yesterday and the day before were a big one-two, which is why I had some difficulty because they're so huge.
You dug in deep and got your cutiemark uncovered what you and your life is all about. You may have been overwhelmed by it, or maybe you've been living in line with a purpose already but weren't that conscious of it.
If you've found, congrats! :party: Today is the start of a new chapter in your life.

When you align yourself with your purpoise, that's when you're at your best, that's when you're most powerful and the best you can be. Be proud of it and wear it on your sleeve.
If you haven't quite found it yet, keep at it! You'll find it. Ask yourself as many times as you want in different times, different places. There's no limit to it :)

If you've found something that's the opposite of how you're living now you may be wondering what you should do.

Live to your purpose within the context of your situation. You don't have to drop everything and start anew. Take a few small steps first, but think bigger. Make long term goals, plan towards them and move in their direction.
Day 19, almost Day 20! We've done A LOT so far. I actually have to take a step back to realize that we've been doing this for nearly three weeks now. I remember when this started out small and now it's grown into something really big!

We've looked at what our life is like, what values we find most important, what we want to do with our lives. We've discovered things about ourselves that surprised us, scared us, made us cry. It's all incredible, isn't it? And important too!
So what do we do with all of those insightful, precious lessons? We can't let them slip away! We need to put them somewhere special, a place where we can always refer to them. A place where we can add new things!

A BOOK! :excite:
So what's a Life Handbook? :ponder:

I'm borrowing the term from Celestine Chua, but essentially it's a journal, a log, a design bible, a fallback, a support system. It's a repository for your experiences, your thoughts, your goals, adages, lessons, anything you find important in your life.

Instead of putting it in all sorts of different notebooks both physically & digitally, it's now in one place!
Coincidentally I had a similar idea at the start of my final uni project, so this fits nicely :)

So what should be in it?

Anything & everything important to live your best life, like for instance

Your purpose/mission

Short term/Long term goals
Your Vision Board (why did I make mine so huuuuge :v: ?)

Your Values

Your key strengths & improvement areas

Adages, principles, maxims, motifs you find important, insightful, essential.

Plans to achieve your goals.


It may seem like quite a bit, but don't be intimidated! Start somewhere and it will grow from there :)

Task: Make Your Book!

Step 1: Decide on a format.

There's no rule on what it should look like or whether it should be hard copy or soft copy. It's all in your hands. It could be a physical book, or a digital one using Word, Google Drive, Evernote and whatnot.

A soft copy allows you to edit things quickly: adding new sections and changing existing ones. Aa hard copy is something you can get your hands dirty with.

A downside to a physical book though is that when it's full, it's full. You can get a small binder and refill the papers when necessary.

If you're not sure what to pick yet, start with a soft copy first. That gives you room to make corrections. Use this as a working version, when you make a decision on the format, transfer the information.

Step 2: Fill out your book, one section at a time

Start with your mission statement, and go from there. Use the list above as a guide to get you started.
Don't worry about getting all the information in, today is really about getting the layout and format down.

Here are some more things you could add:

to-do lists, inspirational quotes, daily musings, achievements, reflections.

Step 3: Personalize it!

This is not a book, this is your life in the form of a book. So make it you! Add pictures, stick things on it, colour the sections, doodle in it, make it something that makes you happy :yay:

Step 4: Use your handbook

Make a habit about using your handbook regularly.

Look at it every morning before you start your day. Spend a few minutes reading through it and reminding yourself why you do what you do. It'll give you focus and clarity.
Refer to it through the day to remind yourself of what you want.

Update it constantly. This is the central repository of information you teel important. Whenever you come across something meaningful & noteworthy, put it in your book. Whenever you have a new goal, add it. Whenever you get a revelation or epiphany, document it so you'll always have it with you.
It's forever a work in progress, so it'll never be complete. It'll evolve and grow as you do.

Back it up regularly if you have a soft copy. Throw it on Google Drive, Evernote or Dropbox so it's synched with the clouds. You don't wanna lose it!

Today's Task

What did you think of today's task? Did you learn anything? What did you learn?

Day 19 of Your Action Plan Dan Man Can Pan... Ban... Nan
Action. Plan. Awesome. Go. :chillin:

Ponder

Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by Ponder » Fri May 03, 2013 8:26 pm

Aaaaaa falling behind aaaaaa :flail:

I'm still working on Day 17. I've gotten pretty hung up on it. I'm heading out of town this evening to go visit a friend, but when I get back tomorrow or Sunday I'll keep working on it.

This stuff is difficult, and certainly time-consuming (although granted a lot of the time I allocate to these challenges is spent staring off into space, thinking), but it's important. I'm learning things about myself.

I'll update with 17 and 18 next, and then after that I'll try to catch back up with the rest of you.

Aracat

Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by Aracat » Sat May 04, 2013 2:54 am

Day 19

This seems like a logical extension of the challenge notebook. I intend to eventually keep the todo and short term goal lists somewhere else (ideally on ~the cloud~ for maximum accessibility), but I think it makes a lot of sense to just keep using and expanding on what I've got in my challenge file - it's easy to make more space and a lot of this stuff's already in there.

Still decluttering, maybe I can make some progress over the weekend.

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Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by Venusy (?) » Sat May 04, 2013 6:53 am

Day 19 - Life Handbook.

Yeah, this is largely a compilation of what's been done in the challenge notebook - which is good, since you do have to figure these things out before you can compile them. Still, it's really good to have a quick reference to some of the most important things. :)

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Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by Hi. (?) » Sat May 04, 2013 9:33 am

I am a bit behind! Oh well!

Day 18.
I got a bit zen on this one. It's short, and to the point, but I'm okay with that.
Also I drew a little flower.
Image

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Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by doodlesplat » Sat May 04, 2013 10:35 am

Hi! wrote: ↑
Sat May 04, 2013 9:33 am
Day 18.
I got a bit zen on this one. It's short, and to the point, but I'm okay with that.
Also I drew a little flower.
Image
Hi Hi!! I've always enjoyed the little art flourishes on your notes. :allears:

I've an observation for you: In light of your day 17 and 18 stuff, if you were to revisit some of the earlier tasks now, how do you think they might turn out? It just seems like you've been making such great strides in learning about yourself that in a few short weeks it is already time to look back and see how you've changed.
:flutterunsmith:

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Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by !saak (?) » Sat May 04, 2013 6:00 pm

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Day 20: Relationship Is Magic

Yesterday you started on your very own personal Life Handbook. Take care of it, it'll be your companion containing your braindumps, your journal, your reflections, thoughts and all the things you feel important to you.
Bring it with you wherever you go, refer to it regularly to remind yourself of your goals. This will help you focus. If you ever come across useful information that will help you, add it!
Update it whenever you change your purpose, values, goals and plans. This helps to keep it relevant.

Now let's go and look at people.

The Main Six Five

Who are the 5 people you spend the most time with? Write down their names.
Think about what they're like: their mindsets, attitudes, beliefs, personality, temperants, income levels, habits, looks. For each attitude, take the average of these 5 people.
Any similarities between the average and you?

Jim Rohn coined the following phrase: β€œYou are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

The people you hang out with have a strong influence on who you are and who you'll become. If you hang out with diligent, motivated and positive people you'll end up working harder, being more motivated and having a more positive outlook :) . If you spend a lot of time with negative, jaded, unmotivated and disgruntled folk there's a big chance it'll rub off on you :fluttersmith:

Ever had a talk with someone and they went on and on about blablablabla and then this person did all the urgleblurgegurgle and you felt yourself completely drained after?
That.

Even if you have the best of intentions, if you're constantly surrounded by people who sulk and are negative all the time your energy is only lost. You're not in a place which fosters growth or happiness.
Surrounding yourself with likeminded people, people who inspire and challenge you mentally gives you lots of opportunities for growth. You create an environment from which you can draw energy, rather than it draining you.
This doesn't mean you should cut away person with negative traits from your social circle. My dad can repeat himself when talking about what other people have done this time, but he's also one of the wisest people I know.
Just be mindful of the nature of your relationship, 's all :)

Only if you're spending time with someone who's seriously dragging you down should you resort to cutting ties with him/her. If you're putting yourself in a relationship which is only negative, you're not being the best person you can be. Not only to yourself, but also to them.

Having explained all that, let's get get crackin'!

Evaluate Your Relationships

Open to a new page of your workbook and title it. Oh hey we're at day 20 :party:

Step 1: Identify the 5 people you spend the most time with.

Colleagues, best friends, partners, clients, managers, online friends, teachers.
Even if you're not close to the person, it counts if you often hang out with him/her. If you don't spend physical time together but you're in close contact, that counts too!

Step 2: Assess each relationship

How would you describe this person? Be as objective as possible in your description. Include both positive & negative traits (if any).
How does your relationship with this person make you feel? Happy? Excited? Drained? Bored? Hesitant? Discouraged?

Does the person have a positive effect on you? Or does the person have a negative impact? Write down a plus for positive, and a minus for negative. If you're not sure, write down an equal sign.

Step 3: What's next?

If you doodled a plus next to a person, then that person is a great person! Spend time with them! Spend more time with them! Is there any way you can improve your relationship with them?

If you doodled a minus then this person doesn't have a good effect on you. Can you improve this relationship so that it becomes something good not only for you but also for them?
If you can't you may consider spending less time with this person. This person may not be horrible, but maybe it's best if you spend a bit less energy on this relation.

An equal sign means this person is neither boon or bane. It may be fine the way it is, but if you feel like you could learn more from this person explore how you can boost your relationship with them.

Reflect on Today's Task

How was today's task? What did you learn?

Day 20 of Your 30 Day Action Plan

20/30. Whatchu got planned for t'day? Be cool :chillin:

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Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by Hi. (?) » Sat May 04, 2013 6:26 pm

doodlesplat wrote: ↑
Sat May 04, 2013 10:35 am
I've an observation for you: In light of your day 17 and 18 stuff, if you were to revisit some of the earlier tasks now, how do you think they might turn out? It just seems like you've been making such great strides in learning about yourself that in a few short weeks it is already time to look back and see how you've changed.
:flutterunsmith:
I don't know! Probably not much different. My number one goals in the short / medium term are still to lose weight and deal with my mother's estate. Once that's dealt with, I will probably take another step back and reevaluate my priorities, but right now dealing with the estate (and fighting with insurance companies) is so emotionally draining that there isn't enough of me left at the end of the day to be introspective on.

If I'm being honest, none of this self discovery stuff is really new. If anything, I'm just slowly reverting to normalcy as I deal with my mother's death. I've just been living way too much in my own head, and hadn't been meditating to clear out all the clutter. I'm just very tired.

:pinkieshrug:

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Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by Hi. (?) » Sat May 04, 2013 7:54 pm

Day 19
So, I started with this cover page, and made individual pages for my current major goals. (Losing weight, the estate, and finding love). I'm holding off on posting the pages since they've got some personal info in there, but they're mostly just boring lists of stuff I've done, and stuff I still need to do.
Image
The quotes are stuff that I find personally meaningful, and are little truths I tend to fall back on when I'm lost. Mostly from Zen koans, one quote from a video game that got me interested in Hinduism and Buddhism a long time ago, and one quote from Alice In Wonderland.
http://deoxy.org/koans, http://www.ibiblio.org/zen/cgi-bin/koan-index.pl and http://catb.org/jargon/html/koans.html have most of them in full if you're curious or bored.

Aracat

Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by Aracat » Sun May 05, 2013 12:05 am

Day 20
Well at least not all the people on this list are people from work, so that's a good sign.

Most of the people on the list I have a mildly positive relationship with, and I think the converse is true as well. Nobody has an mostly bad influence on me, though most have a couple less than stellar traits (and I'm sure I have mine as well). Two have traits that I specifically want to avoid, and I should probably alter the relationship I have with them as such.

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Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by Hi. (?) » Sun May 05, 2013 6:11 am

Ha-ha! I'm not behind anymore. I set my nexus tablet up for handwriting (I got a stylus), and this one looks a little different as a result. I actually think I prefer writing this way, though it's definitely different.

Day 20
My five 'People' have been given abbreviated pseudonyms for privacy.
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Last edited by Hi. on Sun May 05, 2013 8:42 am, edited 3 times in total.

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Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by Venusy (?) » Sun May 05, 2013 7:43 am

Image
Image

Updated vision board:
Image

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Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by !saak (?) » Sun May 05, 2013 4:05 pm

Hey, question before I post tomorrow's challenge:

Doing this challenge made me realize that it's pretty hard for me to relax and rest up, plus I have trouble focusing too on a task. I'll often get distracted and spend my energy not on the best of things.
I already recognize this as a point of improvement and am cultivating habits to help me, but lately it's been pretty hard for me to get the things done I want to get done. And I realize it's not a problem I've only started having now.

It's not motivation, I have that in spades, energy too, it's just that directing it is difficult. I'm like a cannon without a barrel... so I'm more of an explosion :v:

Anyone know of a barrel I could screw on myself? Err... Anyone know of a way I could maintain focus? I know I can be superfocused on something, it's just that I need to figure out what exact conditions I need.

(irony: I started writing this while I was only half done writing tomorrow's challenge)

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Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by !saak (?) » Sun May 05, 2013 4:38 pm

Image

Day 21: Friendship is Magic

Yesterday you looked at the 5 people you spend the most time with and assessed how your relationship was with them.
How many of them were positive? How many were negative? How many are neutral?

Doing this test made me realize that I have some trouble talking to a few of my five, all because of the same reason. I knew deep down this was already the case, but getting it out there in the open did much to make me fully aware of it.

Being mindful of you relationships allows you to direct your energy to where it really should go.
When you consciously choose who to be with you're shaping your relationship with that person for the better, so it helps not only you but that person too! :party:

If you want you could do the challenge again but this time include different people.

Let's get to today's task, shall we?

Freeeeennnsss

Ever thought what your life would be like without friends?

Imagine a life of solitude, without someone to share stories, laughs, sadness and life with. No play, no interactions with the external world.
Friends are precious and the fact that you crossed paths with them is something to be grateful for, something to really appreciate. They help you learn more about yourself and vice versa.
Your friendships are worth nurturing and developing :)

That's why today is all about friendship!

Task: Connect with Friends

Open to day 21 of your notebook, title it something... magical.

Step 1: Call a Friend

Pick a friend you'd like to connect to/reconnect to today. It can be a best friend you haven't caught up with in a while, a good friend you've drifted from, a regular friend you would like to know better, or a new friend you've just met!
Drop this friend a call. He or she might be caught off guard, but I'm sure they'll be glad to get a call from you.

Let him/her know that you're simply calling to see how they're doing. Catch up, check on how life's been for them. What have they been busy with?

Share about yourself too, try to make it a meaningful heart-to-heart.

See if you can learn something new about your friend. Ask questions you wouldn't normally ask. Get to know them on a whole new level!
See if you can get together some time in the future, and arrange something!

Step 2: Reach out to other friends

Pick a few other friends, say 3, or 2, or 5 you would like to talk to. Text them, email them, call them. Check on how they're doing and see if they wanna hang out and go do something.
If you have a few common friends, go do something as a group! :party:
You can also cross pollinate your friends, get them all together in one place!

Reflect on Today's Task

How was today's task? What have you learned?

Day 21 of Your 30 Day Action Plan

Whatchu got planned on this beautiful Monday? Go and do it with excellence.

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Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by Venusy (?) » Sun May 05, 2013 5:36 pm

Isaak wrote: ↑
Sun May 05, 2013 4:05 pm
Err... Anyone know of a way I could maintain focus? I know I can be superfocused on something, it's just that I need to figure out what exact conditions I need.
If you find this out, please inform me as well. :-I

Can't work on this challenge until tomorrow as people don't generally appreciate being called this late at night. :v:

doodlesplat

Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by doodlesplat » Sun May 05, 2013 6:30 pm

If you have lots of energy and motivation and interest, removing distractions (like blinders on a horse) might be enough. Easier said than done of course, if a lot of those distractions are in your head. If you can somehow prevent yourself from satisfying those distractive desires, then maybe after a while your brain will give up thinking about them. Maybe. For example, picking a quiet and barren place to do your work/study. In the past, I've effectively stopped my desire to refresh specific sites by adding them to the blocked sites list.
:pinkieshrug:

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Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by Hi. (?) » Sun May 05, 2013 6:47 pm

Isaak wrote: ↑
Sun May 05, 2013 4:05 pm
Anyone know of a way I could maintain focus?
Have you tried meditation? It's certainly the most effective way I've found for finding calm, and if needed, focus.

Aracat

Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by Aracat » Sun May 05, 2013 11:43 pm

Failing miserably on getting any further decluttering done.

Day 21
I went out with friends today. I also called some family that I don't see often and chatted for a while.

I'm don't think I'm following the spirit of this challenge because I don't think there's much more that I'm willing to open up about. This is an interesting point; I'm going to have to think about it more.

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Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by Lhet (?) » Mon May 06, 2013 4:55 pm

I'm totally behind because I'm still on 13 and 14. I kinda realized (thanks to this!) why my room always seems so messy even though I do put effort into tidying it up from time to time: I literally have no furniture with drawers. Even when things are fairly organized, it still looks messy because everything's fully visible.
So I went to Ikea over the weekend and bought some chests of drawers! And a lampshade for my lamp that's always had an uncovered bulb. I get to build them tonight... :unenthused:

Isaak wrote: ↑
Sun May 05, 2013 4:05 pm
Anyone know of a way I could maintain focus? I know I can be superfocused on something, it's just that I need to figure out what exact conditions I need.
Perhaps try to stay away from the internet while you work on something. Ideally get out a notepad, sit on a couch (or go on a walk!), and write/diagram/plan it out that way.

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Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by !saak (?) » Mon May 06, 2013 5:27 pm

Thanks everyone! One of my goals this challenge is to become a more focused, relaxed and less distracted person, which is harder than it sounds for me. Everything is so shiny :v:
It means I really need to focus on cultivating habits, which is something I started on but failed to do so for a bit. Also if I continue writing tomorrow's challenge I'll further break one of my in progress habits, so it's going to wait a bit longer :-P
We'll be here tomorrow! :party:

Ponder

Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by Ponder » Mon May 06, 2013 6:51 pm

Day 17
Image

Image

Image

Image
Day 17 was a wall for me. I smacked into it head-first and lost all momentum. I finished it last night and started Day 18, but was too drained to go right back to asking myself big questions. I'm feeling a little burnt out right now, but I don't want to stop working because I'll fall even further behind. I also don't want to force it, because I probably wouldn't give the challenges the attention and effort they require to be effective. Bluh. How do I keep going? :negative:

doodlesplat

Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by doodlesplat » Mon May 06, 2013 7:15 pm

PonderSketch wrote: ↑
Mon May 06, 2013 6:51 pm
I'm feeling a little burnt out right now, but I don't want to stop working because I'll fall even further behind. I also don't want to force it, because I probably wouldn't give the challenges the attention and effort they require to be effective. Bluh. How do I keep going? :negative:
I think going at your own pace and giving them the attention you'd like would be better overall.

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Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by Venusy (?) » Mon May 06, 2013 8:31 pm

Day 21: I didn't call anyone, but I did have a really long discussion with an old online friend, planned to meet up with an old IRL friend, and had a chat with an old boss.

ScionVyse

Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by ScionVyse » Mon May 06, 2013 10:15 pm

Hey hey I did day 21.

I was actually called up a week ago because a bunch of people I knew are doing the music for a church program this summer, and they sort of needed help. The conversation was kind of like this:

Aaa we need help! :flail:

I can help! :milkshake:

Can you play bass? :rariwhat:

... Give me a week. :-I


So that started tonight. It was cool to catch up with some friends I haven't seen in probably years, and even better, I get to see them every week to play some music until the end of July! Now I just need to buy myself a bass so I can stop using the one they lent me and start adding more layers to my music. :chillin:

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Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by !saak (?) » Tue May 07, 2013 3:34 pm

Missed a beat, making today's task tomorrow's. Scusi :)
Use the extra time to your advantage!

Image

Day 22: Cultivate a new Habit

Yesterday you called up friends (or family), hung out with them and had a great chat.
Who did you call? How did they respond?

All of us can get mighty busy doing things. It's easy to get caught up in what we're doing and lose touch with the people we care about. This task was meant to remind you about your friendships and the importance of reaching out to others, even when you may be busy with other things.

Drop a message to each of your friends to see how they're doing. Send an email or make a call. Your friends will appreciate it!

I'll admit that I didn't get to do the calling up a friend part, but I have somehting I want to discuss with someone I've known for years, so I'll be doing that tomorrow :allears:
Let's get to today's challenge!

A Mare of Habits
:party: What kind of habits do you have today? Any bad ones? How about good on...
:squintyjack: Waiwaiwaiwaiwait... didn't we do this one already on Day 10?
:party: Yes.
:squintyjack: So why are we doing this again, let me guess the first time was...
:) Practice?
:squintyjack: ...
:) It's true that we looked at them, but they're important little buggers. Important enough to warrant a challenge of their own!
:twasnothin: Right
:) Plus, this challenge is a good way to hold yourself accountable and structure your habit, let's see why that's important:

Major General Charles C. Noble had some insightful words on habits: β€œFirst we make our habits, then our habits make us.”
When we cultivate habits and stick to them they become second nature. But it takes commitment and effort to put them in place. You might have great plans to start awesome habits that you feel will help you, but I think it's safe to say that many of us have trouble sticking to them. But once we successfully integrate them into our lives we don't have to think about them any more. It becomes another routine act we do daily.

Some are relatively simple, like getting a cuppa Joe every morning. Others might be harder, like maintaining focus and getting enough rest (for some people at least :v: ).
Today you'll be identifying a bad habit you want to fix and a new habit you want to cultivate. Let's get this partay startayd!

Fix a Bad Habit & Cultivate a Good One

Open to day... err... 22, Day 22 of your workbook, title it something fitting and awesome. Write down today's date.

Today's challenge comes in two options. You can either choose to A) fix a bad habit or B) cultivate a good habit.

Habit cultivation requires focus and attention. You can try working on multiple habits in one go, but a lot of people fail at breaking bad habits and cultivating good ones because they try to do too many things in one go. They end up spreading themselves too thin.

Plus, one habit might have benefits on a bigger part of your life. If you turn off the computer earlier you have more time before going to bed to brush your teeth, read a book. You'll get a better night's rest and wake up earlier in the morning so you can make lunch for the day, eat your breakfast without stressing out and so on and so forth.

These are actual benefits I'm having right now :party:

Task A, Step 1: Identify a habit you want to fix, and why

Do you have any bad habits? Identify the one you want to address most.

Here are a few examples:

Bad posture
Picking away at skin
Nail biting
Eating junk food
Oversleeping
Being late for appointments
Smoking
Losing your temper easily
Complaining
Gossiping
Eating right before sleeping
Leaving things to the last minute

A bad habit is basically one you yourself deem undesirable. It's perfectly possible that someone will think your bad habit is perfectly okay and vice versa. So go with a habit you don't want to have and want to fix.
For the habit you've selected, why do you want to fix this habit?

Example: Bad posture
While sitting in my chair I tend to put strain on my muscles, making my back and shoulders hurt. When getting up I feel my muscles aching and my body tense. This makes me tired and grumpy.

Step 2: Understand the drivers of your bad habits

There are several reasons in your life which support this habit. Identifying these reasons will help you to address them and remove them from your life.
Identify 3 (about) reasons why you have this bad habit. Then, identify how you plan on dealing with them.
For instance:

Bad habit: Waking up late

Why do I have this habit?

Reason 1: I often work until the wee hours of the day before, so I wake up late the next day.
Why? I feel like I can't go to sleep leaving things undone, so I try to do as much as I can and only go to bed until I can do no more.
How can I adress this: Realize that it's okay to go to sleep without finishing the work, because I'll have the extra time in the morning to get it done. The hours I gain late at night are just from delaying my sleep. In the end I lose the entire morning and feel grumpy.

Reason 2: Why do I even have to wake up early? There are no good reasons
How can I adress this: But there are plenty of reasons! Waking up early gives me a great start for the day! I can go jogging and it helps me be more productive. I tend to be quite unproductive because I think I can simply finish it later.

Reason 3: I've been going to bed late for so long I don't feel sleepy until it's already very late. I can't fall asleep even if I go to bed early.
How can I adress this: Slowly shift to the new schedule. I will try shifting back by 30 minutes every day from now on.

Step 3: Create a plan to cultivate your new habit

Interesting wording huh? It's a little mindhack. Don't think that you're trying to remove a bad habit, think that you're cultivating a new, good one! One of the best ways to fix a bad habit is to replace it with something else, like a good habit!

For instance, you might go chew on gum instead of smoking. Or bring a reusable bottle of water to work instead of buying a sugary drink from the store next door.
Think of the good habit you want to cultivate instead of your bad habit, then create your plan to make it happen!

Example: Have a good, upright position.

1. When I sit down, push myself to the back to the chair so I don't put strain on it. Rest my arms on the armrests. Choose seats with a back where possible
2. Every time I stand up, check my posture to make sure I'm standing tall. Lift my head up so my chin is parallel to the ground.
3. Get a new chair. My current one is really old and close to falling apart. I don't feel it gives me enough support.

Step 4: Take Action!

Make it happen :party: Go and put your plan into action for the whole day!

Task B: Cultivate a good habit

Don't got a bad habit you need to fix, how's about cultivating a good one?

Here are a few examples:

Read
Keep a journal
Exercise
Study
Write X amount of words
Draw for X amount of time
Meditate

For the habit you selected, why do you want to cultivate this habit?

Step 2: Create a plan to cultivate your new habit

Same as Step 3 from Task A.

Step 3: Take Action

Yeh :chillin:

Reflect on Today's Task

What did you think of today's task? What did you learn?

Day 22 of Your 30 Day Plan

Go! :yay:

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Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by Hi. (?) » Tue May 07, 2013 6:30 pm

I'm delaying day 21 for this weekend!

Will do 22 tonight though.

Ponder

Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by Ponder » Tue May 07, 2013 11:09 pm

Day 18:

Image
(While the page topper says the 5th, that's just when I started it. I got as far as the first line and stopped. I finished it this evening.)
doodlesplat wrote: ↑
Mon May 06, 2013 7:15 pm
I think going at your own pace and giving them the attention you'd like would be better overall.
Thanks. I'll try not to let myself get too anxious about catching up. I tend to take a while on these. Even when I only fill up a couple pages, it takes me several hours for some reason. :nngh:

Nightsong

Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by Nightsong » Wed May 08, 2013 4:44 am

Haven't posted in a while. Depression is really bringing me down right now. Overview:

Day Four (Life Map) - I set a bunch of goals that I'm not working towards and most of which I don't care about anymore.
Day Five (Vision Board) - I made a pinterest board
Day Six (Action Plan) - My aim is to have a week where I am happy at least once every day. To do this I'm making a list of things which make me happy. So far I only have four things on it and even those don't make me happy every time I do them.
Day Eight (Review) - I've done really badly with diet and exercise, so from day nine onwards I've changed up my schedule to make sure I exercise more. I've done medium-well at reading and doing things for others. I'm trying to make more time for these, but it's difficult. I've done really well at socialising so I'll keep doing that.
Day Nine (To Do List) - I had 3 80% items and four 20% items. I did all of them, but some of the 20% didn't make me feel fulfilled, even though they should.
Day Ten (Habits) - I have four '+1 habits', three '0' habits and one '-1' habit. I'm also adding exercising, reading outside of my commute, doodling and writing. That seems like a lot and I don't know how I'm going to make time for them all.

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Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by Hi. (?) » Wed May 08, 2013 7:11 am

Day 22

Imgur is being weird. So I put this one on minus.

Did this on my nexus tablet again. It's kinda funny. My writing on the tablet ends up being way messier, because it feels more natural, and as a result I write *much* quicker. While I can read it, I don't know if anyone else can.

Oh well, so much for improving my hand writing!

:pinkieshrug:

Also, this one is pretty easy to write, but less easy to actually do.
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Re: 30 Days of Life Improvement Challenge

Post by Venusy (?) » Wed May 08, 2013 2:09 pm

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:f5:

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