Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters

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Fartlord Dunktronix
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Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters

Post by Fartlord Dunktronix (?) » Mon Jun 04, 2018 9:02 pm

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Oh come on, isn't he gonna swirly this guy too

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Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters

Post by Fartlord Dunktronix (?) » Mon Jun 04, 2018 9:03 pm

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Oh look, a woman who doesn't exist purely as a sex object

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Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters

Post by Fartlord Dunktronix (?) » Mon Jun 04, 2018 9:04 pm

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wizard shit happening at a wizard school, what a surprise

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Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters

Post by Fartlord Dunktronix (?) » Mon Jun 04, 2018 9:05 pm

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is this professor gonna be snape

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Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters

Post by Fartlord Dunktronix (?) » Mon Jun 04, 2018 9:05 pm

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she's snape

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Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters

Post by Mechanical Ape (?) » Mon Jun 04, 2018 9:06 pm

I refuse, refuse to believe a story about magical college wouldn’t have anti-hangover spells/potions in it

Why would you even have magic in your setting if not to do stuff like that
Fartlord Dunktronix wrote:
Mon Jun 04, 2018 8:22 pm

Click for Fullsize
Thought that said “Underage Girl” and welp :fluttershock:
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Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters

Post by Fartlord Dunktronix (?) » Mon Jun 04, 2018 9:06 pm

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Number of college professors I had who were anything like this: 0

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Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters

Post by Fartlord Dunktronix (?) » Mon Jun 04, 2018 9:07 pm

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Man you had like four days to get your textbooks you idiot

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Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters

Post by Fartlord Dunktronix (?) » Mon Jun 04, 2018 9:07 pm

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It's been a long ass time since I've read the HP books, but this is literally the first Harry Meets Snape scene isn't it

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Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters

Post by Fartlord Dunktronix (?) » Mon Jun 04, 2018 9:09 pm

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oh my god this fucking mixed metaphor

First off, vultures have talons, not nails.

Second, vultures are known for the cacophonous sound of their voices. A vulture using its talon on a chalkboard doesn't evoke any different sensation than a person dragging their fingernails on a chalkboard.

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Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters

Post by Mechanical Ape (?) » Mon Jun 04, 2018 9:09 pm

Fartlord Dunktronix wrote:
Mon Jun 04, 2018 9:03 pm
Oh look, a woman who doesn't exist purely as a sex object
This is an illusion, she’s really an oversexed hot babe & you will get to bang her


Prove me wrong game

Prove me wrong
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Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters

Post by Fartlord Dunktronix (?) » Mon Jun 04, 2018 9:12 pm

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As Professor Ogamu berates Rob Thomas in public, the writer demonstrates that they don't even know the word "ma'am"

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Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters

Post by Fartlord Dunktronix (?) » Mon Jun 04, 2018 9:12 pm

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So are we going to meet the Griffyndor babe or the Ravenclaw babe

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Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters

Post by Fartlord Dunktronix (?) » Mon Jun 04, 2018 9:13 pm

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...what the hell kind of grading scheme has daily grades?

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Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters

Post by Fartlord Dunktronix (?) » Mon Jun 04, 2018 9:14 pm

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Do vindictive teachers like this actually exist? I've known plenty of teachers who were unforgiving hardasses, but I've never known one to actively ENJOY failing students.

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Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters

Post by Fartlord Dunktronix (?) » Mon Jun 04, 2018 9:17 pm

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I guarantee there will be a creepy description of a girl within the next 3 text boxes, maximum.



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Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters

Post by Fartlord Dunktronix (?) » Mon Jun 04, 2018 9:18 pm

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3

Damn!

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Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters

Post by Fartlord Dunktronix (?) » Mon Jun 04, 2018 9:20 pm

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If we ask Kenji in an attempt to cockblock ourselves, it turns out that he's too focused on the lecture to notice us

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Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters

Post by Fartlord Dunktronix (?) » Mon Jun 04, 2018 9:25 pm

I'm just going to transcribe the next bit of text because the visual is a very clear and intentional upskirt and I'm not comfortable even hiding that behind a link
I see one of the most beautiful girls ever. She has long naturally-flowing dark red hair that goes past her shoulders. Her beautiful ocean blue eyes could drown me for hours with just a stare. She has soft-porcelain skin, a cherry lipstick that complemented her hair, and a modest amount of makeup. She is stunning from head to toe! I can tell she's customized her Ursadale jacket, and also wears an expensive scarf with designer skirt. She's definitely a fashionista! Underneath that uniform, she seems to have quite a nice body and a slim fit waist as well. She is quite attractive and seems to be high maintenance. She's probably from a wealthy family.
Whew, a lot to unpack here.

1. This writer is really fucking concerned with how long a girl's hair is. Why does this matter, and even if it does, why can't the writer just let us LOOK AT THE FUCKING VISUALS

2. I get that it's a play on the ocean-blue eyes, but you can't fucking "drown for hours". By definition, the process of drowning is done in a few minutes.

3. Porcelain. That known soft material, porcelain.

4. How can you tell her skirt is designer? It's under her desk, and if you're sitting next to her, you do not have the angle to see that!

5. How the fuck can you tell that she's a high maintenance person? You haven't even spoken to her yet!

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Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters

Post by Fartlord Dunktronix (?) » Mon Jun 04, 2018 9:26 pm

Anyway, I'm done with this for tonight, I'm gonna go watch last night's arcade pit while preparing for a job interview

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Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters

Post by West Filly (?) » Mon Jun 04, 2018 9:29 pm

porcelain, like the giant urinal this story keeps dunking our head in.
👉👉🥜🏠

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Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters

Post by Gloomy Rube (?) » Mon Jun 04, 2018 10:40 pm

Fartlord Dunktronix wrote:
Mon Jun 04, 2018 9:14 pm
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Do vindictive teachers like this actually exist? I've known plenty of teachers who were unforgiving hardbutts, but I've never known one to actively ENJOY failing students.
No they don't. Because if you're failing students a lot, you're gonna look REALLY bad and lose your job. :-I
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ImageImageImageImage

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Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters

Post by Perrydotto (?) » Tue Jun 05, 2018 6:59 pm

welp this game sure is some 15 year old's idea of what a raunchy Hogwarts would look like
Image /// Image /// Image

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Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters

Post by Fartlord Dunktronix (?) » Wed Jun 06, 2018 12:32 am

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After horndogging on his classmate, Rob Thomas has already forgotten what he's supposed to be doing.

Hint: He needs the textbook, not a piece of paper for note taking.

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Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters

Post by Fartlord Dunktronix (?) » Wed Jun 06, 2018 12:35 am

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I've said many times that I don't really have much of an eye for character design, but wow this character's head is way too red. There really needs to be another color to help offset this.

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Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters

Post by Fartlord Dunktronix (?) » Wed Jun 06, 2018 12:37 am

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I'm not sure this addition of the sharp blue is any better.

And uh, was this girl not paying attention when the professor put Rob Thomas on blast in front of the entire class?

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Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters

Post by Fartlord Dunktronix (?) » Wed Jun 06, 2018 12:38 am

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Rob Thomas says this about literally every girl he meets. Literally every single one.

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Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters

Post by W.T. Fits (?) » Wed Jun 06, 2018 12:39 am

Bit late on this, but I'm gonna call it now - that cat we ran into back in the Hufflepuff wing? Totally going to be the Ravenclaw girl.

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Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters

Post by Fartlord Dunktronix (?) » Wed Jun 06, 2018 12:41 am

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Take a look at how the desks are arranged and try to make sense of this sentence


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Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters

Post by Fartlord Dunktronix (?) » Wed Jun 06, 2018 12:43 am

W.T. Fits wrote:
Wed Jun 06, 2018 12:39 am
Bit late on this, but I'm gonna call it now - that cat we ran into back in the Hufflepuff wing? Totally going to be the Ravenclaw girl.
I thought it was going to be a McGonagall situation, but yeah this is totally the right call

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Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters

Post by Fartlord Dunktronix (?) » Wed Jun 06, 2018 12:46 am

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Girly handwriting. Uh huh.

keep your eyes on the teacher you god damn moron

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Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters

Post by Fartlord Dunktronix (?) » Wed Jun 06, 2018 12:46 am

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I can't get over how... red this girl is

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Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters

Post by Fartlord Dunktronix (?) » Wed Jun 06, 2018 12:47 am

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I mean, Rob Thomas is too fucking stupid to buy his textbooks before classes start, so might as well go all in on being a academically stunted moron.

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Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters

Post by Fartlord Dunktronix (?) » Wed Jun 06, 2018 12:48 am

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This dude is 100% on course to failing out on his first year

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Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters

Post by Fartlord Dunktronix (?) » Wed Jun 06, 2018 12:49 am

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SMOOTH

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Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters

Post by Fartlord Dunktronix (?) » Wed Jun 06, 2018 12:50 am

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For the love of god

Your subject and verb are two words apart

Please just let them agree, I'm begging you

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