Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
Moderator: Fizzbuzz
-
Fartlord Dunktronix
- Posts: 1351
- Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2017 2:50 pm
Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
The title screen isn't anything super bad, but it's definitely a bit racy, so I linked it just to be safe
-
Fartlord Dunktronix
- Posts: 1351
- Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2017 2:50 pm
Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
So apart from being a blatant Harry Potter knock-off, the very first sentence is so poorly constructed that it actually implies something completely different from what was intended. What the writer clearly meant to say was "Students in this school are divided into four different wings", but what it sounds like is "There are four wings in this school, and the students in these wings are divided". Good fucking job!
I can tell the sentence was written this way to avoid a dangling preposition, but good god.
I also did a quick google, and the makers of this game are indeed American, so zero mercy for poor English skills!
-
Fartlord Dunktronix
- Posts: 1351
- Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2017 2:50 pm
Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
Unfortunately, when you bear a mark, you are consequently not bare.
Where do all these writers who can't be assed to learn homonyms come from?
-
Fartlord Dunktronix
- Posts: 1351
- Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2017 2:50 pm
Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
Flumahen = hummingbird = Hufflepuff
-
Fartlord Dunktronix
- Posts: 1351
- Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2017 2:50 pm
Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
There's something not quite right about this bit that I can't quite put my finger on. The way it's presented is almost as if being assigned to this house wing makes you like this, rather than students with this predisposition are assigned here. It's almost as if it's prescriptive rather than descriptive.
This is probably going to be the most intellectual criticism of the game I will have.
-
Fartlord Dunktronix
- Posts: 1351
- Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2017 2:50 pm
Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
Ursadale. Subtle.
Also, Griffyndor.
-
Fartlord Dunktronix
- Posts: 1351
- Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2017 2:50 pm
Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
Performahead? That's a new one to me.
Also, "fellow peers" is a redundant phrase that's actually kind of stunned me in its novelty.
-
Fartlord Dunktronix
- Posts: 1351
- Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2017 2:50 pm
Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
I've read what, maybe ten sentences, and I'm already fucking sick of this writing style.
Also, there's a missing apostrophe.
-
Fartlord Dunktronix
- Posts: 1351
- Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2017 2:50 pm
Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
Jesus, they really did not fucking try with these house names, huh?
Anyways, I'm gonna guess that this is the stand-in for Ravenclaw. This is easy, since dolphins are known for two things: Being very sociable and very intelligent. Since the "friendly people" house has already been described, that leaves one thing.
-
Fartlord Dunktronix
- Posts: 1351
- Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2017 2:50 pm
Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
ding ding ding and i win another shitty visual novel thread
And come on, I just said dolphins are known for being social animals. Couldn't you have picked an animal known for being intelligent and solitary?
-
Fartlord Dunktronix
- Posts: 1351
- Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2017 2:50 pm
Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
"They're not socially active, unless they are."
- Gloomy Rube
- I want you to be like a hamster please
- Posts: 496
- Joined: Tue Oct 31, 2017 2:36 am
Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
maybe they won't have the fourth house just be the evil one
-
Fartlord Dunktronix
- Posts: 1351
- Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2017 2:50 pm
Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
oh my god just call them the evil ones you're not fooling fucking anybody
- Gloomy Rube
- I want you to be like a hamster please
- Posts: 496
- Joined: Tue Oct 31, 2017 2:36 am
Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
spiders are good and so is purple so I think these are the protagonists
-
Fartlord Dunktronix
- Posts: 1351
- Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2017 2:50 pm
Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
Okay, you know why there's so many Harry Potter fans who try to reinterpret Slytherin as anything other than a Saturday morning cartoon villain, despite the fact that JK Rowling made it very clear that they're one step removed from Nazis?
It's because even children can sense that the idea of "some people are just plain evil" is total bullshit. Tweens figured this out when they read Harry Potter, I figured it out reading Redwall books when I was eight years old.
This is a game ostensibly written for adults, because it has a patch for sex scenes. Yet here we are, with the writers still trying to peddle the "EVIL PEOPLE LOL" bullshit
- West Filly
- Posts: 767
- Joined: Tue Oct 31, 2017 6:46 am
- Gender: Male
Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
OH BOY HERE WE GO AGAIN WITH ANOTHER SHITTY VN
-
Fartlord Dunktronix
- Posts: 1351
- Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2017 2:50 pm
Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
Except that headstrong, driven, and passionate already described the bear house
Oh my god, the writer can't even keep tabs on shit this simple and we're still in the preamble
- Gloomy Rube
- I want you to be like a hamster please
- Posts: 496
- Joined: Tue Oct 31, 2017 2:36 am
Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
"these ones are brave, these ones are friendly, these ones are smart, and these ones are JUDGMENTAL"
how does one not notice the whole "3 of them are all good things and one of them is bad things" and still treat it as though the houses are equal
how does one not notice the whole "3 of them are all good things and one of them is bad things" and still treat it as though the houses are equal
-
Fartlord Dunktronix
- Posts: 1351
- Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2017 2:50 pm
Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
YOU JUST SAID THEY'RE PASSIONATE THRILL SEEKERS ONE TEXT BOX AGO
HOW DO YOU CONTRADICT YOURSELF THIS QUICKLY
- West Filly
- Posts: 767
- Joined: Tue Oct 31, 2017 6:46 am
- Gender: Male
Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
Passionate controlling calculated thrill seekers.
So, NASA?
So, NASA?
- Gloomy Rube
- I want you to be like a hamster please
- Posts: 496
- Joined: Tue Oct 31, 2017 2:36 am
Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
"in their eyes, power leads to supremacy and strength"
okay, what in what you told us before even comes close to leading to this sentence?? You were just saying they were determined and judgmental and narcissistic how does any of that equate to "strong is good and weak is bad"
okay, what in what you told us before even comes close to leading to this sentence?? You were just saying they were determined and judgmental and narcissistic how does any of that equate to "strong is good and weak is bad"
- Gloomy Rube
- I want you to be like a hamster please
- Posts: 496
- Joined: Tue Oct 31, 2017 2:36 am
Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
"they like to have control and be manipulative" that's not a character trait you doofus
Edit: you're smart, OR brave, OR friendly, otherwise you're a control freak. There are no other options.
Edit: you're smart, OR brave, OR friendly, otherwise you're a control freak. There are no other options.
Last edited by Gloomy Rube on Sun Jun 03, 2018 9:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
-
Fartlord Dunktronix
- Posts: 1351
- Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2017 2:50 pm
Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
What a horribly tortured way of saying "All students at this school are assigned to one of these four wings"
- West Filly
- Posts: 767
- Joined: Tue Oct 31, 2017 6:46 am
- Gender: Male
Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
they could have just said "this house is evil poo poo heads" and saved a lot of words.
-
Fartlord Dunktronix
- Posts: 1351
- Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2017 2:50 pm
Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
Ah yes, boarding school, that incredibly romantic place
- Gloomy Rube
- I want you to be like a hamster please
- Posts: 496
- Joined: Tue Oct 31, 2017 2:36 am
Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
You just said that the 'evil' spider house (spiders aren't evil) had only bad traits what the the strengths you're talking about. Drive doesn't count because the bears already get that.
-
Fartlord Dunktronix
- Posts: 1351
- Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2017 2:50 pm
Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
What reason is there to ever say "frigidly cold"
It's almost as if the adverb already implies the adjective
It's almost as if that adjective form of that adverb is more descriptive anyway
- Gloomy Rube
- I want you to be like a hamster please
- Posts: 496
- Joined: Tue Oct 31, 2017 2:36 am
Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
this is the kind of person who thinks "frigidly" means "like a refrigerator"
-
Fartlord Dunktronix
- Posts: 1351
- Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2017 2:50 pm
Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
Why is this line in italics but the previous one isn't? They're both very obviously internal monologue.
- West Filly
- Posts: 767
- Joined: Tue Oct 31, 2017 6:46 am
- Gender: Male
Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
I hate how you have to reach over the marble counter to get to the hand dryer.
Also BIG URINALS
Also BIG URINALS
- Gloomy Rube
- I want you to be like a hamster please
- Posts: 496
- Joined: Tue Oct 31, 2017 2:36 am
Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
well his letters got slanted from the pain, you see.
-
Fartlord Dunktronix
- Posts: 1351
- Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2017 2:50 pm
Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
"Well, there's not going to be a world-ending villain in this game so we can't use the 'child of destiny' cliche, let's pull another one out of the hat"
-
Fartlord Dunktronix
- Posts: 1351
- Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2017 2:50 pm
Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
I just want you all to know that I've posted every text box in this game so far, and this is the first one where I have no criticism, largely because it's only two words long
- Gloomy Rube
- I want you to be like a hamster please
- Posts: 496
- Joined: Tue Oct 31, 2017 2:36 am
Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
why would you even do an amnesia thing after dumping all that lore on us. The point of amnesia openings is so you don't have to do the exposition and just have the player learn things with the character.
- West Filly
- Posts: 767
- Joined: Tue Oct 31, 2017 6:46 am
- Gender: Male
Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
I just want to say that this room is fugly and needs to die.
Also the taps are dolphins. Does that imply house wing?
Also the taps are dolphins. Does that imply house wing?
Last edited by West Filly on Sun Jun 03, 2018 9:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
-
Fartlord Dunktronix
- Posts: 1351
- Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2017 2:50 pm
Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
Um, what?
This sure is a thing to start with.
- Gloomy Rube
- I want you to be like a hamster please
- Posts: 496
- Joined: Tue Oct 31, 2017 2:36 am
-
Fartlord Dunktronix
- Posts: 1351
- Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2017 2:50 pm
Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
Well, it's good to know that the bully isn't doing this with telekinesis or something
Actually wait, this is Hogwarts, that could totally happen
- West Filly
- Posts: 767
- Joined: Tue Oct 31, 2017 6:46 am
- Gender: Male
Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
There's a horrible thing happening right now, but let's take a moment to appreciate the good grip this guy has. That's one hell of a grip.
-
Fartlord Dunktronix
- Posts: 1351
- Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2017 2:50 pm
Re: Oakwood Academy of Spells and Sorcery: Hogwarts meets Hooters
Listen Mister Writer, I know "toilet soup" is your feeble attempt to be poetic, but toilet water is the same shit that comes out of a tap. It's fucking clean.
Unless the toilet has been used and not flushed, in which case this bullying has ascended to another level.