ITT we're humans in equestria
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Lazy
Re: ITT we're humans in equestria
[quote="The post_id=56122 time=1410234840 user_id=143] Twilight, have you met Ember? He's the new pony around town. I think h-he likes me a little
maybe
No, I haven't! What about you, Pinkie Pie?
He's helping me put on the best party in ponyville history by introducing me to!
He's not a very good racer though, could barely manage a full trot! What a loveable nerd!
Well, he's certainly bold about fashion, always dressed in those full linen white sheets, even after labor day
Huh... Well, that's interesting, but Applejack, you've been rather quiet, have you met this Ember?
...
I have... and I got to be frank with ya'll. He's a monkey. A giant monkey.
Well that's an odd accusation.
I'm serious! He's a giant monkey!
Now Applejack, you can't be serious. He's just... large for a pony is all. Look, here he comes now! Trust me, you'll see he's no monkey!
He's a monkey I tell ya, a giant monkey!
Oh! Ember dahling! Please come here! We'd like you to meet our friend, the fair Princess Twilight Sparkle.
Hello there.
Ah, Princess Twilight Sparkle, an honor to meet you. I've heard so much about you from your friends.
Just Twilight is fine. So, when did you move to ponyville?
Look! His back legs never move, and his tail never swooshes! He's a monkey I tell you!
Be quiet Applejack, this is no time to offend a new neighbor!
Heh. Neighbor.
I beg pardon?
Oh, nothing! I'm a recent arrival as a matter of fact, though I've managed to bump into your friends by coincidence one way or another.
I threw him a welcome to town sheeted stranger party!
Right.
So, er, Ember fellar, why's your neck so long? You a giraffe.... or maybe a monkey?
I will murder you
Oh, my great grandfather on my mothers side was a giraffe, so long necks run in the family. That makes sense, right?
Uhh...
Makes sense to me!
Of course it does! I swear Applejack if you say another word...
Hey Twilight, you gonna do anything about this?
No I kind of want to see how this plays out.
Oh yeah? How's about your complete lack of a snout?
Oh.... I uh... Lost it. In the war.
What war? The great monkey war?
... The war on poverty?
See, charming and generous, if a little odd looking, and you doubted him Applejack!
.... Aaaaanyways, I think I'll be going now. Nice meeting you Twilight, and I'll see the rest of you around.
*Steps on the tail end of his sheet as he walks away, causing it to pull off and reveal him to be a six foot human with the hind end of a hose costume attached behind him*
... Fuck.
See, I told you he was a monkey!
I just remembered, I have an appointment in alpacapoco *Flees*
And don't come back now y'hear! Ya nasty varmint!
I told you he was a monkey.
Ghosty-Boo, Ghosty-Boo what's the matter with you? You wear a disguise to look like pony guys, but your not a horse, you're a Ghosty-Boo.[/quote]this is actually literally a fanfic. like I don't mean that in a bad way but you should probably just write fanfic
maybe
No, I haven't! What about you, Pinkie Pie?
He's helping me put on the best party in ponyville history by introducing me to!
He's not a very good racer though, could barely manage a full trot! What a loveable nerd!
Well, he's certainly bold about fashion, always dressed in those full linen white sheets, even after labor day
Huh... Well, that's interesting, but Applejack, you've been rather quiet, have you met this Ember?
...
I have... and I got to be frank with ya'll. He's a monkey. A giant monkey.
Well that's an odd accusation.
I'm serious! He's a giant monkey!
Now Applejack, you can't be serious. He's just... large for a pony is all. Look, here he comes now! Trust me, you'll see he's no monkey!
He's a monkey I tell ya, a giant monkey!
Oh! Ember dahling! Please come here! We'd like you to meet our friend, the fair Princess Twilight Sparkle.
Hello there.
Ah, Princess Twilight Sparkle, an honor to meet you. I've heard so much about you from your friends.
Just Twilight is fine. So, when did you move to ponyville?
Look! His back legs never move, and his tail never swooshes! He's a monkey I tell you!
Be quiet Applejack, this is no time to offend a new neighbor!
Heh. Neighbor.
I beg pardon?
Oh, nothing! I'm a recent arrival as a matter of fact, though I've managed to bump into your friends by coincidence one way or another.
I threw him a welcome to town sheeted stranger party!
Right.
So, er, Ember fellar, why's your neck so long? You a giraffe.... or maybe a monkey?
I will murder you
Oh, my great grandfather on my mothers side was a giraffe, so long necks run in the family. That makes sense, right?
Uhh...
Makes sense to me!
Of course it does! I swear Applejack if you say another word...
Hey Twilight, you gonna do anything about this?
No I kind of want to see how this plays out.
Oh yeah? How's about your complete lack of a snout?
Oh.... I uh... Lost it. In the war.
What war? The great monkey war?
... The war on poverty?
See, charming and generous, if a little odd looking, and you doubted him Applejack!
.... Aaaaanyways, I think I'll be going now. Nice meeting you Twilight, and I'll see the rest of you around.
*Steps on the tail end of his sheet as he walks away, causing it to pull off and reveal him to be a six foot human with the hind end of a hose costume attached behind him*
... Fuck.
See, I told you he was a monkey!
I just remembered, I have an appointment in alpacapoco *Flees*
And don't come back now y'hear! Ya nasty varmint!
I told you he was a monkey.
Ghosty-Boo, Ghosty-Boo what's the matter with you? You wear a disguise to look like pony guys, but your not a horse, you're a Ghosty-Boo.[/quote]this is actually literally a fanfic. like I don't mean that in a bad way but you should probably just write fanfic
- Scuderia
- Tired,
but
Strong - Posts: 8
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- The Ghost of Ember
- don't you feel so scared sometimes?
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- PhoolCat
- EEHECKINGYUP
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- PhoolCat
- EEHECKINGYUP
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Re: ITT we're humans in equestria
*Goes to learn how to be a Jedi from the Voodoo Lady who lives in the swamp*
- Aramek
- Your MRI results have shown total infection to now be approximately one fifth of the full mass of the tissue.
"So you're saying..."
Your brain is about 20% tumor. - Posts: 314
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Re: ITT we're humans in equestria
Low hanging fruit there.
There was a link here, it's dead now and I'm sad.
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Throbulator
Re: ITT we're humans in equestria
With a ladder I could get those higher in the trees too.
- Angel Beat
- ~ Space, the final frontier. ~
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Re: ITT we're humans in equestria
Then Applejack kicks the tree you're in and it becomes a sad healing shipfic.Throbulator wrote: ↑Tue Sep 09, 2014 8:22 amWith a ladder I could get those higher in the trees too.
New signature pending.
- Fizzbuzz
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Re: ITT we're humans in equestria
*goes to magical idealized horse world, gets a job that back home is normally reserved for migrant workers and pays less than minimum wage*
- Aramek
- Your MRI results have shown total infection to now be approximately one fifth of the full mass of the tissue.
"So you're saying..."
Your brain is about 20% tumor. - Posts: 314
- Joined: Tue Oct 31, 2017 6:46 am
- Gender: Male
- Location: Chicagoland
Re: ITT we're humans in equestria
Yeah, seriously, at least get a job wherein you fill a niche.
There was a link here, it's dead now and I'm sad.
- Aramek
- Your MRI results have shown total infection to now be approximately one fifth of the full mass of the tissue.
"So you're saying..."
Your brain is about 20% tumor. - Posts: 314
- Joined: Tue Oct 31, 2017 6:46 am
- Gender: Male
- Location: Chicagoland
Re: ITT we're humans in equestria
Like, I could work at a hospital because they aren't all unicorns.
There was a link here, it's dead now and I'm sad.
- Aramek
- Your MRI results have shown total infection to now be approximately one fifth of the full mass of the tissue.
"So you're saying..."
Your brain is about 20% tumor. - Posts: 314
- Joined: Tue Oct 31, 2017 6:46 am
- Gender: Male
- Location: Chicagoland
Re: ITT we're humans in equestria
You have any idea how much easier it is to put IVs in horses? Marshmallow ponies couldn't be that much worse.
There was a link here, it's dead now and I'm sad.
- ToastGhost
- Big adventure's waiting.
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Re: ITT we're humans in equestria
Where's Lyra I'm sure she has an explanation for all this.
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Throbulator
- Fizzbuzz
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Re: ITT we're humans in equestria
*explains humanity's injustices and inequalities toward its own kind, is met with shock and horror from ponies*
- Daikatuna
- Posts: 30
- Joined: Tue Oct 31, 2017 11:04 am
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PictishBeast
Re: ITT we're humans in equestria
*discovers that working on a farm or working in a bakery or working as a dressmaker's assistant is actually really hard*
"This isn't fair at all! Why back on earth I spent all day sitting in my room getting mad about video games on the internet!"
*visits the background ponies to see where all the easy jobs are at*
*realizes Bon Bon hauls garbage for a living*
"This isn't fair at all! Why back on earth I spent all day sitting in my room getting mad about video games on the internet!"
*visits the background ponies to see where all the easy jobs are at*
*realizes Bon Bon hauls garbage for a living*
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Logicgate
- Posts: 30
- Joined: Fri Dec 22, 2017 8:07 am
Re: ITT we're humans in equestria
[quote="The post_id=56108 time=1410231180 user_id=81]Assuming there's no way back, seek out some magic pony to just transform me.
into a Pegasus, of course.[/quote]
Pretty sure it's canon that turning a mare into a stallion is a nigh-impossible feat of magic, so I'm gonna be super pissed if they developed a spell for turning sentient primates into horses before developing a simple procedure to make life better for trans ponies.
*becomes an advocate for health benefits for transgender cartoon horses I guess*
into a Pegasus, of course.[/quote]
Pretty sure it's canon that turning a mare into a stallion is a nigh-impossible feat of magic, so I'm gonna be super pissed if they developed a spell for turning sentient primates into horses before developing a simple procedure to make life better for trans ponies.
*becomes an advocate for health benefits for transgender cartoon horses I guess*
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PictishBeast
-
PictishBeast
Re: ITT we're humans in equestria
*visits Cheese Sandwich*
"Your best album was 'Running With Scissors.'"
"Your best album was 'Running With Scissors.'"
- PhoolCat
- EEHECKINGYUP
- Posts: 89
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Re: ITT we're humans in equestria
If anypone can, it's Celestia - also she wouldn't be turning a mare into a stallion per se, but changing a stallion's outsides?Logicgate wrote: ↑Tue Sep 09, 2014 10:17 amPretty sure it's canon that turning a mare into a stallion is a nigh-impossible feat of magic, so I'm gonna be super pissed if they developed a spell for turning sentient primates into horses before developing a simple procedure to make life better for trans ponies.
*becomes an advocate for health benefits for transgender cartoon horses I guess*
- Gloomy Rube
- I want you to be like a hamster please
- Posts: 496
- Joined: Tue Oct 31, 2017 2:36 am
Re: ITT we're humans in equestria
*Is injured and hospitalized the first week thanks to being surrounded by large horses*
IT AIN'T SAFE IN EQUESTRIA I TELLS YA
IT AIN'T SAFE IN EQUESTRIA I TELLS YA
- Scuderia
- Tired,
but
Strong - Posts: 8
- Joined: Wed Nov 01, 2017 8:52 pm
Re: ITT we're humans in equestria
Alternatively:
*uses hands to click two metal spoons rhythmically like this *
:"Oh my gosh! Everypony look at what the human is doing!"
:"That is SO COOL!"
:"I want you to play for my royal court."
:no: :"I could have come up with that!"
:"Don't be envious of the human, Spike!"
*is now world famous*
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Logicgate
- Posts: 30
- Joined: Fri Dec 22, 2017 8:07 am
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Logicgate
- Posts: 30
- Joined: Fri Dec 22, 2017 8:07 am
Re: ITT we're humans in equestria
*advocates for better representation of males in local and federal government, just for the novelty of it*
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PictishBeast
- Aramek
- Your MRI results have shown total infection to now be approximately one fifth of the full mass of the tissue.
"So you're saying..."
Your brain is about 20% tumor. - Posts: 314
- Joined: Tue Oct 31, 2017 6:46 am
- Gender: Male
- Location: Chicagoland
Re: ITT we're humans in equestria
*performs hamboning*
There was a link here, it's dead now and I'm sad.
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PictishBeast
Re: ITT we're humans in equestria
*corners Cadance, explains at length the difference between an empire and a principality*
- blasmeister
- Posts: 1
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Re: ITT we're humans in equestria
*writes angry letters to hasbro concerning false advertising in product titles*
- Mechanical Ape
- Not slim, definitely shady
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Re: ITT we're humans in equestria
Finally, I can live my dream and go to the post office naked.
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PictishBeast
Re: ITT we're humans in equestria
"Hey Doctor Whooves! Over here!"
"Excuse me, are you talking to me?"
"Exterminate! Bad Wolf! Silence will fall!"
"I'm sorry, I don't understand what you're saying."
"Why don't you wear a bow tie? Bow ties are cool! Fezzes are cool!"
"Um, I guess?"
"Geronimo! Jammy dodgers! Allons-y!"
"Listen, I'd like to help you, but I've really got to go."
"Got to go get fish fingers and custard, I bet! Farewell Doctor! Don't blink!"
"My name's Time Turner, asshole."
- Mechanical Ape
- Not slim, definitely shady
- Posts: 582
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- Gender: Male
Re: ITT we're humans in equestria
"Let me explain to you all about Human Jesus ..."
- Daikatuna
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- Fizzbuzz
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Re: ITT we're humans in equestria
Same, except with Celestia.PictishBeast wrote: ↑Tue Sep 09, 2014 10:47 am*corners Cadance, explains at length the difference between an empire and a principality*
- PhoolCat
- EEHECKINGYUP
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Re: ITT we're humans in equestria
"Yes yes, my little ape - but you see being a human is actually illegal in my realm. In fact, it is the only capital offence on the books."
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Dragongem
Re: ITT we're humans in equestria
*rides Celestia around*
"This is ridiculous and absurd! You will be banished to the moon for this!"
"Here, have another slice of cake."
"But not yet!"
"This is ridiculous and absurd! You will be banished to the moon for this!"
"Here, have another slice of cake."
"But not yet!"
- Scuderia
- Tired,
but
Strong - Posts: 8
- Joined: Wed Nov 01, 2017 8:52 pm
Re: ITT we're humans in equestria
:"So if I understand you correctly, the Earth in your world revolves around the Sun?"
:"Literally writ into the very fabric of the heavens - My Sister is the center of attention."
:"That is the nuttiest thing I have ever heard."
:"And what pray tell does the moon revolve around in your quote-unquote Heliocentric model of the world?"
".... it ... revolves around the Earth ... Which in turn revolves around the Sun ..."
:"Oh my gosh! It must get so dizzy!"
:"My poor moon..."
:"Literally writ into the very fabric of the heavens - My Sister is the center of attention."
:"That is the nuttiest thing I have ever heard."
:"And what pray tell does the moon revolve around in your quote-unquote Heliocentric model of the world?"
".... it ... revolves around the Earth ... Which in turn revolves around the Sun ..."
:"Oh my gosh! It must get so dizzy!"
:"My poor moon..."
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PictishBeast
Re: ITT we're humans in equestria
*remembers all the times that ponies have acted racist toward mules, zebras, minotaurs, and even other types of ponies, and realizes they're almost certainly talking shit behind your back*