Horse Laughs
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What’s the difference between a cranberry farmer and a pirate?
Pirates bury their treasure and cranberry farmers treasure their berries.
Pirates bury their treasure and cranberry farmers treasure their berries.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive?
It had 24 carrots.
It had 24 carrots.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did the Pilgrims use to make cookies on Thanksgiving?
May flour.
May flour.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to?
Plymouth Rock.
Plymouth Rock.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why did the farmer enter the cider-making contest?
He loved the apple-ause.
He loved the apple-ause.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How do Pilgrims kick a bad habit?
They stop cold turkey.
They stop cold turkey.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy
If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why was there a turkey on Comedy Central?
He was there for a roast.
He was there for a roast.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do Thanksgiving turkeys become after they die?
Poultrygeists.
Poultrygeists.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a garden?
Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears and the green beans stalk.
Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears and the green beans stalk.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What is a sweet potato’s favorite TV show?
Starch Trek.
Starch Trek.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
In the dictionary.
In the dictionary.
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- Mechanical Ape
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Re: Horse Laughs
How’s that kid who swallowed the half dollar?
No change yet.
No change yet.
- DaikatunaRevengeance
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why couldn’t the gravy boat make it across the table?
There was a maize to get past.
There was a maize to get past.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What happens when potatoes drink too much?
They get mashed.
They get mashed.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What sound does a turkey's phone make?
Wing-wing-wing.
Wing-wing-wing.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you get when you combine a Christmas tree with an iPad?
A pineapple.
A pineapple.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How do sheep wish each other happy holidays?
Merry Christmas to ewe.
Merry Christmas to ewe.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What reindeer game do reindeer play at sleepovers?
Truth or deer.
Truth or deer.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did Rudolph have to say about a big book of noses that Santa gifted him?
He said, "I already red that one."
He said, "I already red that one."
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why does everyone love Frosty the Snowman?
He’s cool.
He’s cool.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did the grumpy sheep say when his friends wished him a Merry Christmas?
Baaaa humbug!
Baaaa humbug!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Where does mistletoe go to become famous?
Holly-wood.
Holly-wood.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
Nothing, it was on the house.
Nothing, it was on the house.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How much does it cost to run Santa’s sleigh?
Eight bucks, or nine if the weather is bad.
Eight bucks, or nine if the weather is bad.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did the gingerbread man get when he broke his leg?
A candy cane.
A candy cane.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why did the elf put his bed into the fireplace?
So he could sleep like a log.
So he could sleep like a log.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did the icy road say to the truck?
Want to go for a spin?
Want to go for a spin?
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past?
Because the present's beneath them.
Because the present's beneath them.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What’s an elf’s favorite sport?
Miniature golf.
Miniature golf.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did one Christmas tree say to the other?
Lighten up!
Lighten up!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How do sheep wish each other happy holidays?
Merry Christmas to ewe.
Merry Christmas to ewe.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did the stamp say to the Christmas card?
Stick with me and we’ll go places!
Stick with me and we’ll go places!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How is Christmas exactly like your job?
You do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit.
You do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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How do elves respond when Santa takes attendance?
“Present!”
“Present!”
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective?
Santa Clues!
Santa Clues!
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- PonyHag714
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What’s the Grinch’s least favorite band?
The Who.
The Who.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why does The Grinch enjoy gardening?
He's got a green thumb.
He's got a green thumb.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What falls in the winter but never gets hurt?
Snow.
Snow.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")