Horse Laughs
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
A grizzly walks to the checkout line with salmon and honey...the clerk says, "Gotcha. Just the bear necessities."
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call a short person waving at you?
Microwave.
Microwave.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How does Darth Vader eat with a mask on?
He Force feeds himself.
He Force feeds himself.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What's the leading cause of dry skin?
Towels.
Towels.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
For Sale: Thick layer of dust. As seen on TV.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why was the report card wet?
Because the grades were below C level.
Because the grades were below C level.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why did the ghost starch his sheet?
He wanted everyone scared stiff.
He wanted everyone scared stiff.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why are vampires bad at art?
They are only able to draw blood.
They are only able to draw blood.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What sound do witches make when they eat cereal?
Snap, Cackle & Pop!
Snap, Cackle & Pop!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why didn’t the zombie go to school?
He felt rotten.
He felt rotten.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Did you hear about the witch who got really angry while on her broomstick?
She flew off the handle.
She flew off the handle.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What kind of horse do ghosts ride?
A night-mare.
A night-mare.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How do you get rid of demons?
Exorcise a lot.
Exorcise a lot.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road safely?
The crossing gourd.
The crossing gourd.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What kind of vehicle does Frankenstein drive on Halloween night?
A monster truck.
A monster truck.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.
Bamboo.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What does a ghost teacher say to their students?
"Watch the board and I'll go through it again!"
"Watch the board and I'll go through it again!"
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- PonyHag714
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What do you call two spiders who just got married?
Newly webs.
Newly webs.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What type of plates do skeletons like to use?
Bone china.
Bone china.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Are skeletons good at painting?
No, they prefer making skull-ptures.
No, they prefer making skull-ptures.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How do vampires flirt?
They bat their eyes.
They bat their eyes.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
Day-scare.
Day-scare.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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What did the bird say on Halloween?
Trick or tweet.
Trick or tweet.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did Dracula say when the witch and the warlock started kissing?
Get a broom!
Get a broom!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Which type of pants do ghosts wear to trick or treat?
Boo jeans.
Boo jeans.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What types of TVs are in haunted houses?
Wide scream TVs.
Wide scream TVs.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why do witches fly on broomsticks?
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Where do werewolves store all of their Halloween candy?
In a werehouse.
In a werehouse.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call a hip jack-o'-lantern?
Waaay ahead of the carve.
Waaay ahead of the carve.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why don’t mummies take time off?
They’re afraid to unwind.
They’re afraid to unwind.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
Terri-fried.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did the turkey say to the computer?
"Google, google."
"Google, google."
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
If you call a large turkey a gobbler, what do you call a small one?
Goblet.
Goblet.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
With Coronavirus being a possible concern this year, what's likely to be the most popular side dish?
Masked potatoes.
Masked potatoes.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why didn't the Thanksgiving band get to perform?
Someone ate the drumsticks.
Someone ate the drumsticks.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn't chicken.
To prove he wasn't chicken.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why didn't the cook season the Thanksgiving turkey?
There was no thyme!
There was no thyme!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why did the cranberries turn red?
Because they saw the turkey dressing.
Because they saw the turkey dressing.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What's the best song to sing when preparing your turkey?
"All About That Baste."
"All About That Baste."
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why was the turkey arrested?
The police suspected fowl play.
The police suspected fowl play.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")