Horse Laughs
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why was the Pepsi employee fired?
He tested positive for coke.
He tested positive for coke.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Have you ever realised how pretty the second letter of the word hive is?
I've always said that beauty is in the I of the bee holder.
I've always said that beauty is in the I of the bee holder.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do clouds wear beneath their clothes?
Thunder-wear.
Thunder-wear.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I was on the verge of winning the "World's Most Congested Nose " competition...and then I blew it.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Gas prices are so high...
That even the coronavirus stopped traveling.
That even the coronavirus stopped traveling.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
A farmer planted a crop of puns.
They were home groan.
They were home groan.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call a passenger train made out of sweet potatoes?
A Yamtrack.
A Yamtrack.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Did you hear about the guy who swapped the labels on the pumps at the gas station?
It was an April Fuels joke.
It was an April Fuels joke.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list...now I can't read anything.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do the Titanic and The Toronto Maple Leafs have in common?
They both look great until they hit the ice.
They both look great until they hit the ice.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I know you’re wondering… why do bees live huddled together in hives?
‘Swarm.
‘Swarm.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
My gloves were stolen yesterday...they fell into the wrong hands.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why don't owls mate during storms?
Because it's too wet to woo.
Because it's too wet to woo.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you say to a blacksmith who's angry about breaking his sword?
Ooh, temper temper!
Ooh, temper temper!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did the foot say to the sock that was about to enter a race?
You're a shoe in.
You're a shoe in.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him...guess that's what I get for having a pure bread dog.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why did the custard cry?
Because it saw the apple crumble.
Because it saw the apple crumble.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What’s electricity’s favorite topic?
Current events.
Current events.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why did the top bun and bottom bun of the Big Mac get in a fight?
There was a bad beef between them.
There was a bad beef between them.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What vegetable is the best singer?
Corn, because it's always in hominy.
Corn, because it's always in hominy.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Did you hear about the movie about the man who smashes kid’s toys?
I hear it’s a real blockbuster.
I hear it’s a real blockbuster.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What has 27 actors, three settings, two writers, and one plot?
671 Hallmark movies.
671 Hallmark movies.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Someone keeps sending me flowers with the heads cut off...I think I'm being stalked.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What does an air freshener vending machine say on the screen when it's empty?
"Out of odor".
"Out of odor".
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
You can get Batman shampoo at Walmart...but not conditioner Gordon.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Went to dinner last night at a restaurant, and there was a fly in my soup...I wouldn't have normally minded, but the zipper broke my tooth.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I paid way too much money for these Velcro pants...what a ripoff.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Did you get a haircut?
No, I got them all cut.
No, I got them all cut.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call competitors of McDonald's?
Arch enemies.
Arch enemies.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why doesn't Achilles have any scars?
His wounds always heel.
His wounds always heel.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What happened when the teacher tied everyone's laces together?
They went on a class trip.
They went on a class trip.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call a really scary horse that only appears after the sun has set?
A nightmare.
A nightmare.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
My buddy has been sacked from his job in recycling.
I can't believe he has gone and thrown it all away.
I can't believe he has gone and thrown it all away.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
When REM met The Queen, she held up an envelope and then said..."That's me in the corner."
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray!
Hare spray!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why don't salmon watch cable television?
They prefer streams.
They prefer streams.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What does the Earth get on Earth day?
A birthday quake!
A birthday quake!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Recently, I decided to quit my job at the construction place because i couldn't deal with the heavy lifting...I gave them my too weak notice yesterday.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I want to treat the roads with sugar instead of salt...this way, you know...everyone can have a sweet ride.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did one blackberry say to the other blackberry?
If you weren't so sweet, we wouldn't be in this jam!
If you weren't so sweet, we wouldn't be in this jam!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")