Horse Laughs
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
A few weeks ago I ordered a box to store my money and a set of speakers online...they arrived today, safe and sound.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why did you chop the joke book in half?
Mom said to cut the comedy.
Mom said to cut the comedy.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Used to know this guy who always tried to draw attention to the fact he was half-horse.
Never could stop being the centaur of attention.
Never could stop being the centaur of attention.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Hey, can you close the window, please? It’s cold outside.
Even if I close the window it’s still gonna be cold outside.
Even if I close the window it’s still gonna be cold outside.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Apparently I’ve been banned from the gas station for playing ‘The Who’ too loudly on my car stereo...I won't get fueled again.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did the lonely ball of dough say?
Nobody kneads me.
Nobody kneads me.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
The Batmobile won't start. Check the battery.
What's a tery?
What's a tery?
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why do skeletons never drink coffee?
Because it goes right through them!
Because it goes right through them!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What city do all Karens come from?
THE AUDACITY.
THE AUDACITY.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
My wife asked me if she could have some peace and quiet while she tried to cook dinner...so I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Make me a sandwich!
POOF! You're a sandwich!
POOF! You're a sandwich!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What happened when the two geese got into a fight?
It went south.
It went south.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why was the pond embarrassed?
Because you could see its bottom.
Because you could see its bottom.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call James Bond taking a bath?
Bubble 07.
Bubble 07.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you win if you don't move a single muscle all week?
A trophy!
A trophy!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why does the nurse take a red crayon with her to the hospital?
To draw blood.
To draw blood.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Spanish word of the day...Muchos.
Thanks for reading. It means a lot to me.
Thanks for reading. It means a lot to me.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call an army of babies?
Infantry.
Infantry.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How did the dentist become a brain surgeon?
His drill slipped.
His drill slipped.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Where is a barber’s favorite place to keep his money?
His shavings account.
His shavings account.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call a snitching scientist?
A lab rat.
A lab rat.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I called up a hotel and the receptionist answered 'Hello, Best Western'...
I replied 'True Grit, starring John Wayne.'
I replied 'True Grit, starring John Wayne.'
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Did you hear about the sweet potato truck that crashed on the Interstate?
It caused a huge traffic yam.
It caused a huge traffic yam.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
Because the land never waves back.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you get when you put pants in the microwave?
Hot Pockets.
Hot Pockets.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you need for a movie about broken bones?
An awesome cast.
An awesome cast.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I caught my son chewing an electric wire.
He is grounded now.
He is grounded now.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- Mechanical Ape
- Not slim, definitely shady
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Re: Horse Laughs
How is a cat like a comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, the other has a pause at the end of its clause.
One has claws at the end of its paws, the other has a pause at the end of its clause.
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did one blood cell say to another blood cell that was having a bad day?
B positive.
B positive.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- Mechanical Ape
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Re: Horse Laughs
I remember when you could walk into a gas station with a nickel and walk out with a soda and a Snickers bar. Now there's cameras everywhere.
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What's Iron Man's favourite ride at the carnival?
The Ferrous Wheel.
The Ferrous Wheel.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What happened to the cat after she swallowed a ball of yarn?
She had mittens.
She had mittens.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Last night my friend trashed a Chinese restaurant...I told him I was horrified by his wonton destruction.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What does a boxing comedian need?
A good punchline.
A good punchline.
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- everything's a little bit weird now
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Re: Horse Laughs
A priest, a rabbit, and a minister walk into a blood bank. The rabbit says "I think I'm a type O."
Every jumbled pile of person has a thinking part that wonders what the part that isn't thinking isn't thinking of...
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
You can imagine my surprise when I saw James Bond making burgers in the park...I guess he had a licence to grill.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why was the door jammed even though it was wide open?
Because it was a jar.
Because it was a jar.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Tom can't hold gasoline...but Jerry can.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why did the ghost get arrested?
For possession.
For possession.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- Octavia
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Re: Horse Laughs
Your avatar makes the punchlines of these jokes ten times better