Horse Laughs
Moderator: Fizzbuzz
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why do you need a password to make a camp fire?
So you can log in.
So you can log in.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Did you hear about the guy who swapped the labels on the pumps at the gas station?
It was an April Fuels’ joke.
It was an April Fuels’ joke.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I write songs about sewing machines...I'm a Singer Songwriter.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- DaikatunaRevengeance
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- Mechanical Ape
- Not slim, definitely shady
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Re: Horse Laughs
At the pet show, the judges awarded a trophy to the cat with the most beautiful behind.
It was a catastrophe.
It was a catastrophe.
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
My son kept chewing on electrical cords, so I grounded him...he's doing better currently and conducting himself properly.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How does the Easter Bunny keep his fur looking so good?
Hare spray.
Hare spray.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Snickers bars are now being shipped in packaging made from recycled old newspaper comics.
They're packed with Peanuts.
They're packed with Peanuts.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why did the naughty child not get electrocuted when he stuck a fork in the socket?
Because he was grounded!
Because he was grounded!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why did the pony need cough syrup?
His throat was a little horse.
His throat was a little horse.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What rock group has four men that don’t sing?
Mount Rushmore.
Mount Rushmore.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you get when you mix a motorcycle with a joke?
A Yamahaha.
A Yamahaha.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How do you milk a dragon?
By making 3 movies and a couple TV series about it.
By making 3 movies and a couple TV series about it.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What's the fastest liquid on Earth?
Milk. It's pasteurized before you see it.
Milk. It's pasteurized before you see it.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Did you here about the fight on the stairs at the shopping mall?
Apparently it escalated quickly.
Apparently it escalated quickly.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What ruined Tiger Woods’ golf career?
His driving game.
His driving game.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
The Lego store near my house just reopened after lockdown...people were lining up for blocks.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How tall is a spider?
Eight feet.
Eight feet.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Nobody's heard from the Zamboni drivers since the NHL cancelled their season.
I'm sure they'll resurface at some point.
I'm sure they'll resurface at some point.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What song did Kenny Rogers write after his cowboy boot broke?
“You picked a fine time to leave me, Loose Heel.”
“You picked a fine time to leave me, Loose Heel.”
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What's yellow and turns to the dark side?
Bananakin Skywalker.
Bananakin Skywalker.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why can't eggs keep secrets?
Because they tend to crack under pressure.
Because they tend to crack under pressure.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why did the banana put on sun screen?
So it wouldn't peel.
So it wouldn't peel.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Did you hear about the LEGO truck that crashed on the highway?
Authorities are still trying to piece everything together.
Authorities are still trying to piece everything together.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
If there were a lizard school, which students would be the one keeping order?
The monitors.
The monitors.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What transformer is made out of cardboard and shows up in two days?
Amazon Prime.
Amazon Prime.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
My hotel tried to charge me ten dollars extra for air conditioning.
That wasn't cool.
That wasn't cool.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
The eagle is a bird of many skills.
One could say he's very talon-ted.
One could say he's very talon-ted.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
An ice-cream van has crashed on the Interstate highway.
Police are putting the cones out.
Police are putting the cones out.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Who designed the round table of King Arthur?
Sir Cumference.
Sir Cumference.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why did the jelly roll?
Because it saw the apple turnover!
Because it saw the apple turnover!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What was the radioactive senior citizen's super power?
Gramma rays.
Gramma rays.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- DaikatunaRevengeance
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How do you make apple jelly?
Google Maps.
Google Maps.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Somebody has stolen one of my Mr. Men books.
I'm absolutely fuming and have vowed revenge...No more Mr. Nice Guy.
I'm absolutely fuming and have vowed revenge...No more Mr. Nice Guy.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you get when you yell into a colander?
A strained voice.
A strained voice.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What happens when you play a country music record in reverse?
Your dog ressurects, your wife goes back home, you get your job back and Donald Trump finally leaves office.
Your dog ressurects, your wife goes back home, you get your job back and Donald Trump finally leaves office.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I started downloading Jaws the other day...but after one megabyte, my computer died.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What color is the wind?
Blew.
Blew.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Bono and The Edge walk into a bar...
The bartender sighs. "Not U2 again."
The bartender sighs. "Not U2 again."
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")