Horse Laughs
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
If a zoo had a half man half horse...
Do you think it would be the centaur of attention?
Do you think it would be the centaur of attention?
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Did you see the show about metal fasteners?
It was riveting.
It was riveting.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- Scuderia
- Tired,
but
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Re: Horse Laughs
:"Wow, Twilight, this is the best grilled cheese you've ever made!"
:"That's not saying much, though. It's pretty dry. Don't you know you're supposed to butter the bread before tossing on the grill..."
:"Huh! I can magic a fix for that; gimmie your plate."
:"That's not saying much, though. It's pretty dry. Don't you know you're supposed to butter the bread before tossing on the grill..."
:"Huh! I can magic a fix for that; gimmie your plate."
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why was Mars overrun with mice?
Curiosity killed the cat.
Curiosity killed the cat.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
After 6 months (or so) of listening to people talk with masks on...I finally understand what Charlie Brown's teacher was saying.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did the pirate say when he dropped his fast food order?
Arrr! Me harteys!!!
Arrr! Me harteys!!!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How do you find Will Smith in a blizzard?
Look for Fresh Prince.
Look for Fresh Prince.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Bono and Edge walk into the bar and the barman says, "Oh no, not U2 again."
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why can't you trust a duck with bomb defusal?
They quack under pressure.
They quack under pressure.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I spent the whole day trying to carve the Ninja Turtles out of wood...but just ended up with a load of Splinters.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I was at a restaurant, and spilled soup on my jeans. I called for thier server: "Waitress, there's soup in my fly."
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why shouldn't you let kids watch big band performances on TV?
Too much sax and violins.
Too much sax and violins.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why did the power line not go to the prom?
She was grounded.
She was grounded.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I tried opening a bag of Lays, but it exploded on me. Now I've got a chip on my shoulder.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
My friend tries to impress girls by drawing realistic pictures of the Ford F-150. He is a pick up artist.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why did the camera flash go to jail?
It was charged with battery.
It was charged with battery.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Due to lack of professional sports, ESPN televised the World Origami Championships. It was paper view.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
A caring mother makes her son loafs of bread shaped like batman, to make his sandwiches fun every time. guess what happens when it's in the oven?
The dark knight rises.
The dark knight rises.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why were the Egyptian children confused?
Because their daddies were mummies.
Because their daddies were mummies.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- DaikatunaRevengeance
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did the waitress say when Rick Astley asked to fast track his order of apple pie and vanilla ice cream?
"I'm never gonna run around and dessert you."
"I'm never gonna run around and dessert you."
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
For Sale: Thick layer of dust. As seen on TV.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How do you stop a bull from charging?
You unplug it.
You unplug it.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why did the boy climb up the tree with a hockey stick?
'Cause he wanted to join the Maple Leafs.
'Cause he wanted to join the Maple Leafs.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why was Pavlov’s hair so soft?
Because he conditioned it.
Because he conditioned it.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What’s another name for iPhone chargers?
Apple juice.
Apple juice.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call a potato made of iron?
Tony Starch.
Tony Starch.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Somebody actually complimented me on my driving today.
They left a note, it said 'Parking Fine.'
They left a note, it said 'Parking Fine.'
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why did the skeleton go to the supermarket?
To get spare ribs!
To get spare ribs!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did the dog say to Woody after accidentally swallowing Buzz Lightyear?
You got a friend in me.
You got a friend in me.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I pulled a muscle digging for gold...it’s just a miner injury.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What happened to the two apple trees that were planted together?
They lived appley ever after.
They lived appley ever after.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I found a Justin Bieber concert ticket nailed to a tree, so I took it.
You never know when you might need a nail.
You never know when you might need a nail.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Did you hear that the CIA hired Stanley Kubrick to fake the Moon landings?
He was such a perfectionist, he made them film on location.
He was such a perfectionist, he made them film on location.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
The coolest thing about my new Porsche is that it lets me know when the rear wing is raised.
Spoiler alert.
Spoiler alert.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- DaikatunaRevengeance
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do bodybuilders say when they run out of protein?
No whey!
No whey!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you get when you pick a pig's nose?
Ham boogers!
Ham boogers!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why was the little ink drop crying?
His mother was in the pen and he didn't know how long the sentence would be.
His mother was in the pen and he didn't know how long the sentence would be.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
BREAKING NEWS: Missing Child Spotted With Pied Piper Of Hamelin
More to follow.
More to follow.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")