The Round Stable

Posted: **Sat May 08, 2021 11:19 am**

A few weeks ago I ordered a box to store my money and a set of speakers online...they arrived today, safe and sound.

Posted: **Sun May 09, 2021 11:15 am**

Why did you chop the joke book in half?

Mom said to cut the comedy.

Posted: **Mon May 10, 2021 10:14 am**

Used to know this guy who always tried to draw attention to the fact he was half-horse.

Never could stop being the centaur of attention.

Posted: **Tue May 11, 2021 10:37 am**

Hey, can you close the window, please? It’s cold outside.

Even if I close the window it’s still gonna be cold outside.

Posted: **Wed May 12, 2021 10:24 am**

Apparently I’ve been banned from the gas station for playing ‘The Who’ too loudly on my car stereo...I won't get fueled again.

Posted: **Thu May 13, 2021 10:14 am**

What did the lonely ball of dough say?

Nobody kneads me.

Posted: **Fri May 14, 2021 10:28 am**

The Batmobile won't start. Check the battery.

What's a tery?

Posted: **Sat May 15, 2021 3:17 pm**

Why do skeletons never drink coffee?

Because it goes right through them!

Posted: **Sun May 16, 2021 11:46 am**

What city do all Karens come from?

THE AUDACITY.

Posted: **Mon May 17, 2021 10:28 am**

My wife asked me if she could have some peace and quiet while she tried to cook dinner...so I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm.

Posted: **Tue May 18, 2021 10:29 am**

Make me a sandwich!

POOF! You're a sandwich!

Posted: **Wed May 19, 2021 10:16 am**

What happened when the two geese got into a fight?

It went south.

Posted: **Thu May 20, 2021 10:10 am**

Why was the pond embarrassed?

Because you could see its bottom.

Posted: **Sat May 22, 2021 12:45 pm**

What do you call James Bond taking a bath?

Bubble 07.

Posted: **Mon May 24, 2021 7:31 pm**

What do you win if you don't move a single muscle all week?

A trophy!

Posted: **Tue May 25, 2021 10:25 am**

Why does the nurse take a red crayon with her to the hospital?

To draw blood.

Posted: **Wed May 26, 2021 10:16 am**

Spanish word of the day...Muchos.

Thanks for reading. It means a lot to me.

Posted: **Thu May 27, 2021 10:05 am**

What do you call an army of babies?

Infantry.

Posted: **Fri May 28, 2021 5:38 pm**

How did the dentist become a brain surgeon?

His drill slipped.

Posted: **Sat May 29, 2021 11:24 am**

Where is a barber’s favorite place to keep his money?

His shavings account.

Posted: **Sun May 30, 2021 12:59 pm**

What do you call a snitching scientist?

A lab rat.

Posted: **Mon May 31, 2021 10:15 am**

I called up a hotel and the receptionist answered 'Hello, Best Western'...

I replied 'True Grit, starring John Wayne.'

Posted: **Tue Jun 01, 2021 10:17 am**

Did you hear about the sweet potato truck that crashed on the Interstate?

It caused a huge traffic yam.

Posted: **Wed Jun 02, 2021 10:12 am**

Why is the ocean so salty?

Because the land never waves back.

Posted: **Thu Jun 03, 2021 5:30 pm**

What do you get when you put pants in the microwave?

Hot Pockets.

Posted: **Fri Jun 04, 2021 10:32 am**

What do you need for a movie about broken bones?

An awesome cast.

Posted: **Sat Jun 05, 2021 11:13 am**

I caught my son chewing an electric wire.

He is grounded now.

Posted: **Sat Jun 05, 2021 7:56 pm**

How is a cat like a comma?

One has claws at the end of its paws, the other has a pause at the end of its clause.

Posted: **Mon Jun 07, 2021 10:16 am**

What did one blood cell say to another blood cell that was having a bad day?

B positive.

Posted: **Mon Jun 07, 2021 9:05 pm**

I remember when you could walk into a gas station with a nickel and walk out with a soda and a Snickers bar. Now there's cameras everywhere.

Posted: **Tue Jun 08, 2021 10:23 am**

What's Iron Man's favourite ride at the carnival?

The Ferrous Wheel.

Posted: **Thu Jun 10, 2021 1:19 am**

What happened to the cat after she swallowed a ball of yarn?

She had mittens.

Posted: **Thu Jun 10, 2021 10:21 am**

Last night my friend trashed a Chinese restaurant...I told him I was horrified by his wonton destruction.

Posted: **Fri Jun 11, 2021 10:16 am**

What does a boxing comedian need?

A good punchline.

Posted: **Fri Jun 11, 2021 11:45 pm**

A priest, a rabbit, and a minister walk into a blood bank. The rabbit says "I think I'm a type O." :nuhuh:

Posted: **Sat Jun 12, 2021 11:06 am**

You can imagine my surprise when I saw James Bond making burgers in the park...I guess he had a licence to grill.

Posted: **Sun Jun 13, 2021 11:46 am**

Why was the door jammed even though it was wide open?

Because it was a jar.

Posted: **Mon Jun 14, 2021 8:54 pm**

Tom can't hold gasoline...but Jerry can.

Posted: **Tue Jun 15, 2021 10:10 am**

Why did the ghost get arrested?

For possession.

Posted: **Tue Jun 15, 2021 6:45 pm**

Your avatar makes the punchlines of these jokes ten times better

The Round Stable

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