Page 39 of 69
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Jan 03, 2021 12:22 pm
by PonyHag714
What kind of movie did the boy and girl clock go to?
A tick flick.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2021 5:41 pm
by PonyHag714
What job did the frog have at the hotel?
Bellhop.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Jan 05, 2021 10:30 am
by PonyHag714
Have you heard about the fight in the fish and chip shop?
2 fish got battered.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2021 6:01 pm
by PonyHag714
A man's wife left him for a tractor salesman. She wrote him a John Deere letter.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Jan 07, 2021 9:54 am
by PonyHag714
What did one sock puppet say to another?
You look like you could use a hand.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Jan 09, 2021 1:51 am
by PonyHag714
I saw a sign while driving yesterday that said "Watch for children"...what a good trade.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Jan 09, 2021 12:29 pm
by PonyHag714
Why was Chewbacca so happy after his son's first baseball season?
He got Wookie of the year.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Jan 10, 2021 11:32 am
by PonyHag714
I burnt my Hawaiian pizza today...should’ve used aloha temperature.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Jan 11, 2021 10:10 am
by PonyHag714
What does an upset chef make food with?
Angrydients.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2021 1:29 am
by PonyHag714
Two slices of bread were competing to see who would stay fresh the longest...It ended in a stalemate.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2021 9:29 am
by PonyHag714
Who designed the round table of King Arthur?
Sir Cumference.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2021 10:20 am
by PonyHag714
Cutting down a tree with a block of cheese is easy...you just gotta make sure it's extra sharp.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Jan 16, 2021 1:47 pm
by PonyHag714
What did the scarf say to the hat?
You go on ahead.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Jan 17, 2021 12:10 pm
by PonyHag714
The doctor says I have to stop eating the skin of oranges...that was a bitter peel to swallow.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Jan 19, 2021 10:13 am
by PonyHag714
How is working at McDonald’s like being an archaeologist in Athens?
Either way, you end up smelling like ancient grease.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2021 10:50 am
by PonyHag714
I used to be a fortune teller but I was really bad at it as I could only predict really bad winter storms...turns out I was using a snow globe.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Jan 23, 2021 11:46 am
by PonyHag714
I said "I love you" to my cake. It burst into tiers.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Jan 24, 2021 12:17 pm
by PonyHag714
What do you call a cardboard belt?
A waist of paper.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2021 10:53 am
by PonyHag714
Why do Baby-Boomers always pay by check?
Because they hate change.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2021 9:59 am
by PonyHag714
I found an LP of wasp noises. Played three tracks that sounded nothing like a wasp. Silly me. I was playing the bee side.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Jan 27, 2021 9:49 am
by PonyHag714
Got a really nice 3 foot ruler today...I bought it at a yard sale.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Jan 28, 2021 9:45 am
by PonyHag714
Who is the leader of the corn army?
The kernal.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Jan 29, 2021 9:37 am
by PonyHag714
What rock group has 4 guys who don’t sing?
Mount Rushmore.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Jan 30, 2021 10:52 am
by PonyHag714
I just invented a thought controlled air-freshener. It makes scents, if you think about it.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2021 12:51 pm
by PonyHag714
What do you get when you pick a pigs nose?
Ham boogers.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2021 9:18 am
by PonyHag714
A magician goes to a fish market...the fishmonger says “pick a cod, any cod”
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Feb 02, 2021 9:53 am
by PonyHag714
What do you call an ox that’s gone gluten-free?
Silly yak.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Feb 04, 2021 9:38 am
by PonyHag714
Why is the sun so smart?
It has a lot of degrees.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Feb 05, 2021 12:18 pm
by PonyHag714
My favourite 10+ year shirt got torn today. R.I.P.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Feb 06, 2021 12:56 pm
by PonyHag714
What do you call a bunch of crows out camping?
Murder within tent.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Feb 07, 2021 12:30 pm
by PonyHag714
I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth...now when I talk, I have this weird axe scent.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Feb 08, 2021 9:44 am
by PonyHag714
Someone keyed the music teacher’s car.
Fortunately, the damage seems to B minor.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2021 12:17 pm
by PonyHag714
What does a baby computer call its father?
Data.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2021 10:11 am
by PonyHag714
Why does Darth Vader's breathing sound so angry?
He's just venting.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Feb 12, 2021 9:51 am
by PonyHag714
What’s Darth Vader favourite measurement system?
The Imperial System.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Feb 13, 2021 11:03 am
by PonyHag714
What did one light bulb say to the other on Vaentine's Day?
"I love you a whole watt."
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Feb 14, 2021 11:21 am
by PonyHag714
What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day?
Ughs and kisses.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Feb 15, 2021 12:16 pm
by PonyHag714
Businesses don't last very long on the moon.
They tend to wax and wane over time.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Feb 16, 2021 9:43 am
by PonyHag714
I tossed and turned as I heard metallic sounds coming from the next bedroom...it was a restless knight.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Feb 17, 2021 9:39 am
by PonyHag714
A new Lego store opened up in my town...people were lined up for blocks.