Horse Laughs

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PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Sat May 08, 2021 11:19 am

Image A few weeks ago I ordered a box to store my money and a set of speakers online...they arrived today, safe and sound.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Sun May 09, 2021 11:15 am

Image Why did you chop the joke book in half?

Image Mom said to cut the comedy.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Mon May 10, 2021 10:14 am

Image Used to know this guy who always tried to draw attention to the fact he was half-horse.

Image Never could stop being the centaur of attention.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Tue May 11, 2021 10:37 am

Image Hey, can you close the window, please? It’s cold outside.

Image Even if I close the window it’s still gonna be cold outside.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Wed May 12, 2021 10:24 am

Image Apparently I’ve been banned from the gas station for playing ‘The Who’ too loudly on my car stereo...I won't get fueled again.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Thu May 13, 2021 10:14 am

Image What did the lonely ball of dough say?

Image Nobody kneads me.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Fri May 14, 2021 10:28 am

:unenthused: The Batmobile won't start. Check the battery.

:whyme: What's a tery?
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Sat May 15, 2021 3:17 pm

Image Why do skeletons never drink coffee?

Image Because it goes right through them!
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Sun May 16, 2021 11:46 am

Image What city do all Karens come from?

Image THE AUDACITY.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Mon May 17, 2021 10:28 am

Image My wife asked me if she could have some peace and quiet while she tried to cook dinner...so I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Tue May 18, 2021 10:29 am

Image Make me a sandwich!

Image POOF! You're a sandwich!
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Wed May 19, 2021 10:16 am

Image What happened when the two geese got into a fight?

:unenthused: It went south.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Thu May 20, 2021 10:10 am

Image Why was the pond embarrassed?

Image Because you could see its bottom.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Sat May 22, 2021 12:45 pm

Image What do you call James Bond taking a bath?

Image Bubble 07.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Mon May 24, 2021 7:31 pm

Image What do you win if you don't move a single muscle all week?

Image A trophy!
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Tue May 25, 2021 10:25 am

Image Why does the nurse take a red crayon with her to the hospital?

Image To draw blood.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Wed May 26, 2021 10:16 am

Image Spanish word of the day...Muchos.

Image Thanks for reading. It means a lot to me.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Thu May 27, 2021 10:05 am

Image What do you call an army of babies?

Image Infantry.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Fri May 28, 2021 5:38 pm

Image How did the dentist become a brain surgeon?

Image His drill slipped.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Sat May 29, 2021 11:24 am

Image Where is a barber’s favorite place to keep his money?

Image His shavings account.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Sun May 30, 2021 12:59 pm

Image What do you call a snitching scientist?

Image A lab rat.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Mon May 31, 2021 10:15 am

Image I called up a hotel and the receptionist answered 'Hello, Best Western'...

Image I replied 'True Grit, starring John Wayne.'
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Tue Jun 01, 2021 10:17 am

Image Did you hear about the sweet potato truck that crashed on the Interstate?

Image It caused a huge traffic yam.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Wed Jun 02, 2021 10:12 am

Image Why is the ocean so salty?

Image Because the land never waves back.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Thu Jun 03, 2021 5:30 pm

:spike101: What do you get when you put pants in the microwave?

:maud: Hot Pockets.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Fri Jun 04, 2021 10:32 am

Image What do you need for a movie about broken bones?

Image An awesome cast.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Sat Jun 05, 2021 11:13 am

Image I caught my son chewing an electric wire.

Image He is grounded now.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by Mechanical Ape (?) » Sat Jun 05, 2021 7:56 pm

How is a cat like a comma?

One has claws at the end of its paws, the other has a pause at the end of its clause.
Image

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Mon Jun 07, 2021 10:16 am

Image What did one blood cell say to another blood cell that was having a bad day?

Image B positive.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by Mechanical Ape (?) » Mon Jun 07, 2021 9:05 pm

I remember when you could walk into a gas station with a nickel and walk out with a soda and a Snickers bar. Now there's cameras everywhere.
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Tue Jun 08, 2021 10:23 am

Image What's Iron Man's favourite ride at the carnival?

Image The Ferrous Wheel.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Thu Jun 10, 2021 1:19 am

:starity: What happened to the cat after she swallowed a ball of yarn?

:bluh: She had mittens.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Thu Jun 10, 2021 10:21 am

Image Last night my friend trashed a Chinese restaurant...I told him I was horrified by his wonton destruction.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Fri Jun 11, 2021 10:16 am

Image What does a boxing comedian need?

Image A good punchline.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by Pocket (?) » Fri Jun 11, 2021 11:45 pm

:anticipation: A priest, a rabbit, and a minister walk into a blood bank. The rabbit says "I think I'm a type O." :nuhuh:
Every jumbled pile of person has a thinking part that wonders what the part that isn't thinking isn't thinking of...

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Sat Jun 12, 2021 11:06 am

Image You can imagine my surprise when I saw James Bond making burgers in the park...I guess he had a licence to grill.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Sun Jun 13, 2021 11:46 am

Image Why was the door jammed even though it was wide open?

Image Because it was a jar.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Mon Jun 14, 2021 8:54 pm

:here: Tom can't hold gasoline...but Jerry can.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Tue Jun 15, 2021 10:10 am

Image Why did the ghost get arrested?

Image For possession.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by Octavia (?) » Tue Jun 15, 2021 6:45 pm

Your avatar makes the punchlines of these jokes ten times better
ImageImageImageImageImage

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