Horse Laughs
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Which is heavier, a half moon or a full moon?
A half moon, because the full moon is lighter.
A half moon, because the full moon is lighter.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What would you call Batman and Robin if they were run over by a truck?
Flatman and Ribbon.
Flatman and Ribbon.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How do you keep a bagel from getting away?
Put lox on it.
Put lox on it.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did one boa constrictor say to another?
I've got a crush on you.
I've got a crush on you.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
There's a gang going through town, systematically shoplifting clothes in order of size.
Police say they are still at large.
Police say they are still at large.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What is a Christmas tree’s favorite candy?
Orna-mints!
Orna-mints!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Where do Christmas plants go when they want to become movie stars?
Holly-wood.
Holly-wood.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?
A Holly Davidson.
A Holly Davidson.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How do the elves clean Santa's sleigh on the day after Christmas?
They use Santa-tizer.
They use Santa-tizer.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How does Darth Vader enjoy his Christmas turkey?
On the dark side!
On the dark side!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What award did Frosty win?
Best in Snow.
Best in Snow.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I like to put up Christmas decorations in stages. This is the stage where I sit on the couch with lasagna and stare at the boxes.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did the elf say when he got fired?
"This is termination without Claus."
"This is termination without Claus."
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?
A cookie sheet.
A cookie sheet.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did Rudolph tell Santa before they started out on Christmas eve?
"Hold on for deer life."
"Hold on for deer life."
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call Santa when he stops moving?
Santa Pause.
Santa Pause.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Did you hear about the kid who wouldn't eat broken candy canes?
They had to be in mint condition.
They had to be in mint condition.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How did Scrooge win the football game?
The ghost of Christmas passed.
The ghost of Christmas passed.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did the ghost say to Santa Claus?
"I'll have a boo Christmas without you."
"I'll have a boo Christmas without you."
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How did the bauble get addicted to Christmas?
He was hooked on trees his whole life!
He was hooked on trees his whole life!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Who is a Christmas tree's favorite singer?
Spruce Springsteen.
Spruce Springsteen.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did Santa say to the little boy who didn't believe in him?
"Yule be sorry."
"Yule be sorry."
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did Humpty Dumpty say about this time of year?
"I’m so egg-cited for the holidays.”
"I’m so egg-cited for the holidays.”
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did the Christmas trees say to each other?
Okay everybody, it’s time to get lit!
Okay everybody, it’s time to get lit!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
A gingerbread man went to the doctor’s complaining of a sore knee. The doctor asked him. “Have you tried icing it?”
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why is our Hearth's Warming tree so hard to lift?
That tree has some junk in the trunk.
That tree has some junk in the trunk.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did Mrs. Claus say about Santa's outfit?
"That look soots you."
"That look soots you."
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Children who don’t learn to tie their shoes properly are bound to wind up on the knotty list.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did Santa Claus say when he heard a good joke?
You sleigh me.
You sleigh me.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
We're ready to work on the presents...put on some wrap music!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call it when a snowman throws a temper tantrum?
A meltdown.
A meltdown.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
My New Year’s resolution is to be more assertive, if that’s ok with you guys.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What happened when Jack Frost lost his temper?
All hail broke loose.
All hail broke loose.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did they call it when the child threw his vegetables on the ground?
Peas on earth.
Peas on earth.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did the icy road say to the truck?
Want to go for a spin?
Want to go for a spin?
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What's the best way to build a snowman?
Flake it till you make it.
Flake it till you make it.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why do you need a jeweler on December 31?
To ring in the New Year.
To ring in the New Year.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why did Cyclops close his school?
He only had one pupil.
He only had one pupil.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")